Back to the radio

Just now I was returning home with my sweet pup Peter after a walk to the garden centre to source a birthday present. We got to the field that we cover daily, when I saw someone who we come across often. It was strange to see her without her dog.

When we got to her, Peter rushed up to greet as he does with most people that pass by. She said how she had lost her dog just yesterday, I exclaimed with shock as I had only seen them together a few days ago. She looked so lost. I felt sad seeing her give Peter a dog treat; she reached for the bag in her pocket with such certainty. Not enough time had passed for habits to change just yet.

She went on to explain that it was her birthday yesterday when it happened, which seemed quite fitting as he was given as a gift for her 50th birthday. He had made it to 15 years old.

I wanted to hug her, although I deemed it inappropriate as up to this point we had only ever exchanged polite small talk.

She reeled off what she was already missing since his loss - not tripping over him, hearing the sound of his feet throughout the house.

It is Peter’s first birthday next Thursday, and I had written a few words about what a sweet boy he is and the things I love about him - I had actually written how I wanted to hear his footsteps on my kitchen floor forever.

As an alternative I held her hand to attempt to show that I cared.

God bless sweet Dexter.

Blue January

Isn’t January boring?

Especially following December, when there’s three gatherings to choose from each weekend. I was watching a re run of 8 Out of 10 Cats Does Countdown earlier. On a Saturday night!

Everyone’s doing their healthy thing by signing up to the gym, going on a diet, participating in Dry January and it is absolutely wreaking havoc on my social plans.  Was really hoping it wouldn’t, that’s why I maintained an interest in running throughout the year. And yet, here I am, unintentionally participating in Dry January.

Fair play to the healthy mates, but I am very much counting down the days to when their good intentions will come to an end. Roll on February; people can’t turn down a night out if it’s your birthday.

I am lonely. Way too social and attention seeking for my own good, but I am really feeling it this year. I’m missing having a companion.

I am so fed up of waking up to no messages on my phone. Of going to work, with the only conversation I have on my lunch break being with the pension provider who fucked my transfer up (happened in May, STILL having to deal with it on a weekly basis). 

I’ll come home, bed at 10pm, stay up until 1am though, thinking about nothing. Wake up tired and do it all again. It’s absolutely killing me not sharing my thoughts! It’s absolutely killing me that no one seems to care about my thoughts (attention seeking and dramatic). I think I rang my mum and dad every evening last week.

All (all) I want is to find someone who could  never be a host of a boring night. Just want something new to think about. I am so pissed off that I still can’t listen to songs that have been loved for years because they’re the soundtrack to my memories with someone who decided they didn’t want to be with me. Six months ago.

I knew it’d be like this though, was like it last year too. With my resolutions for 2018, I wanted specifics to prevent this; accomplish things each week and each month. 

My favourite out of the monthly targets is to spend a whole day listening to music; both old favourites and then onto Radio 6 when I’ve had enough of the familiar. I also want to make sure I write just something, always have so many ideas in my head. 2018 is the year I stick to my plans.

So, have I managed it for this first month? With all this free time? It’s on the 28th day now. Of course not, I’m unexpectedly moving out.

I did want the first thing I wrote to be my playlist of 2017, but you know, too much time spent on packing the old clothes up, so this is my make do...

Everyone prefers a big depressing moan to something inspiring don’t they?

Like I said, roll on February.

My First Sunday date

Thought maybe I would write about my 'romantic' encounters; analyse them, and unfortunately see what went wrong. Now, I like to go on a date on a Sunday; I'm usually subdued from a hangover and I think that's when I'm at my best. Sunday's are also my favourite time of the week to contact all my nearest and dearest when I'm fed up of being bed bound.

This Sunday in the summer was no exception. I found myself Snapchatting a guy I met earlier in the year, named on my phone as 'Stephen Faggot' (he was a little fem and I was convinced he was gay). We got on well on a night out when I met him in my friend's boyfriend's bar. He was really funny, smart, and finally my age. From his number, I found him on Facebook, saw he did some stand up comedy as well as singing and writing; right up my street. A nice confident lad. 

The number exchange happened on the night, and subsequently, we arranged a date but he just didn't reply when I said I was ready...

So we've managed to communicate again, he's apologising about being crap and doesn't even have an excuse, but his humour is coming through the social media correspondence so when he asks if I want to hang out in the evening, I agree to.

The Southern Comfort in my system prevented nerves from forming, and I found myself driving to his apartment in the city centre, I rang him when I got lost so it would be less awkward when we did meet. He got in the car, we went to the shop and bought food and drink and then went back to his apartment.

And it was a typical lads apartment, completely gross. Complete with toilet that didn't flush and used johnny in the bathroom bin. I drank immediately to ensure I was having a good time. It started off ok; I requested songs on YouTube and we laughed and I told stories I hadn't in a long time which made me even more animated. And then he suggested a James Corden viewing...

And this went on for at least an hour. Maybe even two. Two hours of James Corden footage, and I couldn't force the fake laughter out anymore. He didn't want to elaborate on the answers to my questions, nor did he ask for my opinions. I decided to go to the toilet to try and fart to make myself happier (you're not you if you're full of gas). So there I was, toilet roll to bum to prevent any noises being heard from the other side of the door, and to my absolute horror when I wiped, I realised I had sharted. To be clear, this is when you fart, and a little bit of shit comes out. Absolutely no warning whatsoever.

Luckily, as I discovered the flush didn't work at an earlier part of the evening, I knew not to discard the soiled paper into the toilet. So what did I do? I wrapped it and wrapped it and I then had to lodge it in a gap in the bin, almost touching the remains of my predecessor. I swiftly left the bathroom, not feeling better whatsoever, and returned to the living room. Of course he gets up immediately to go to the toilet afterwards.

When he joins me again, to what is now a Jimmy Fallon playlist, he asks what we're doing, and whether "I'd like to stay the night" I politely use an excuse about work and I make my way out of there. I had just got away with one drama, let alone having to try and explain shitting the bed.

He hasn't contacted me since. But you know what, surprisingly boring, and not my kind of attractive. Thanks for really putting me back to square zero on the dating platform.

Walls by Kings of Leon, 2016

So the eagerly awaited seventh album by the Followill boys finally landed on my doorstep this October.

Now I'm a fairly oldschool fan, discovering the boys at the age of 16, it was my final year at school and Aha Shake Heartbreak perfectly soundtracked it. There were dancey tracks, there were slurry lyrics, and there were cowbells.

The boys have come a long way since then, I do continue to support them even if they're not how I remember. Because of the Times made everyone love them, Only by the Night made the old faithfuls hate them (naughty, naughty Sex on Fire), and Come Around Sundown and Mechanical Bull haven't really induced an opinion. Well, I enjoyed them, just not to the extent of the previous albums.

So, how did Walls rank? Well the first track of Waste a Moment is a nice opener, it's upbeat and one of the first lines includes "rabbit on a chain", seven albums in and Caleb is still whipping out lyrics about me, which is really quite nice. (Refer to 'Where Nobody Knows' on Aha for more songs about Jess Sturt). It's not original Kings, but it is catchy.

Another notable song is track number 5; Over. It sounds really familiar, is it a generic pop anthem I recognise? Or is it where the Kings should be? I really like it. It is an untypically lengthy track of six minutes, but we get that glimpse of Caleb's vocal climax. He's not quite the rock and roll banshee we know from Joe's Head but it fits well with the song, and in this case it was a good decision to go with the voice rather than the guitar finale.

My final favourite of the album is the final track; Walls. This is not like any Kings song I have ever heard. It's slow, and nice, and the lyrics aren't cryptic. It's pleasant though, and it sticks out to me. When I saw the video, I could not believe there was a good three minutes of eye to eye contact from the front man. Don't get me wrong, I could stare into those eyes all day, he is my ideal man (other favourites include Marlon Brando and the delicious Michael Cera), but what happened to the timid lad who struggled to even look up from the mic in The Bucket video?

The video to Waste a Moment almost made me sick as well, just leave the dodgy videos guys and you'll be alright.
When I listen to a new album, I give the entire thing a couple of hearings, then I take it to the car and skip it to the tracks I like. The boys have successfully placed my favourite songs at the very beginning, the middle and the end. So when I'm getting lazy and it plays onto the next song, I get to enjoy that one too. All in all, every song is being played.

It's a good album, it is still in my car after a week. I embrace change, but it would be great to just incorporate some of Youth and Young Manhood in there. I will always buy your records boysies, just want to get back to the place where I request the songs on everyone elses phones. I want to love a Kings of Leon song for the first time again.

Send my love to your new lover

So Friday evening came around quite quickly, the time for me and my boo to catch a plane to Northern Ireland and to party with her momma and to hopefully see the boy I fancied the last two times.

The day had not started well, I had been up late watching the results of the EU Referendum, I then woke up at 5am and saw the fastly approaching confirmation that, in despite telling everyone "we're going to remain in, it's gonna be fine", we didn't.

I then had to deal with my best friend of my workplace leaving. My job seriously is heartbreaking and mind numbingly dull. Just to talk to someone so sweet and so on my wavelength really gave me what I needed to get through the day. And now she's spreading her cheeriness elsewhere, good on her, massive loss for us though. So I decorated her car with a banner as I couldn't stand there and cry for long as the flight was ever nearing, got the suitcase from the car and followed Google Maps for fifteen minutes around Stockport, in the rain, to get the bus to the airport. When I get to the bus stop, I'm a bit confused as I can see the Mazda garage, and it looked familiar. Bus comes, goes round a corner, oh yeah there's my work building. A two minute fucking walk. Cheers Google.

 

So anyway, Derulo's on the iTunes and I'm heading to the airport to meet Our Ezza. We buy some snacks and head to the bar, flight's been delayed but it means we can drop another SoCo down the hatch. "Should we have a last cig before we head to the gate?"

We then hear an announcement for flight EZ1818£;&;&;'f...been cancelled. Can all passengers please make their way to Gate 20. My libido returns to where it's been for the last two months. Fuck sake.

We head down and follow an angry Northern Irish crowd. One girl's crisps from a vending machine failed to drop, she was going beserk at it with her feet. A guy came over and pushed it 20 degrees and there was chocolate for all. Some pissed up ladies got hold of the tannoy, telling us not to get on the shuttle bus which was to take us to arrivals, but to stand our ground. It was all fun and games until we heard them screaming in poor Ryan's face. Ryan was a young lad who worked for EasyJet, really pulled the short straw with having to deal with our rowdy bunch. He was doing alright though. On the bus he told us we can go to EasyJet's helpdesk and try to reschedule a flight, failing that get a refund.

We get back to the biggest queue in history, we pop out for a cig and return to the very back of the queue. Of course. Got talking to this couple who were nicely light hearted to begin with, then when informed they wouldn't be flying tonight broke down in tears. I felt bad as we were just going for some weekend fun, I think they were going back for a funeral, the people in front of us, from what we understood by earwigging 🙊🙊, were going for a wedding dress fitting at a really sought after place. A woman was crying about getting back to her son, and then it was getting back to her disabled son, and then it was getting back to her son who was on a ventilator.

We were happy to let the other's claim the soonest flights, we felt no point flying out on a Saturday afternoon to return Sunday evening, but as Ryan had expressed hotels would be made available, we decided we would make the best out of a shituation and still have our weekend fun. Just in a Manchester hotel instead. So I arranged it on the app as we were at the back. By the time we got to Ryan at the front, he told us the next taxi would be in two hours, so "there's no point, you should just walk to the hotel, it's three minutes away". Alright mate, I've sorted the accommodation out and we've waited all this time for you to say that. Cheers. But I just wanted to go, so we went.

Walked the length of the airport around four times to try to find it, a guy by the Metro even took us upstairs and smiled after dialling a number into a telephone, passed it to us and it didn't work. Absolutely raging. We went out to an informatin desk where the guy told us it was an hour and a half walk away/a ten minute drive. I was tempted to walk back in and choke that Ryan asshole. But I didn't, we got the taxi ordered and headed to the hotel. Erin kept asking the driver about when the bar closed, I kept thinking in my head how I'll push myself to have that drink. I was exhausted, but we may as well have a good time wherever we do end up.

We had ten minutes to spare before the bar closed, so we got a bottle of wine each. Just sat there in hysterics about our shit day. I had shaved everything for that weekend, which I was gonna spend in a twin bed with my mate. 

 

We have around a glass of wine each left, and then I see a bus load of people rock up. We have the couple and her friends for the wedding dress fitting, the couple heading to the funeral and then a couple of stragglers. Erin and I moved to the largest seating area and met them with open arms, the boys went out to the off license to buy us the alcoholic treats we'd need to get through the night.

There was Jennifer who was Clare's mate, and Ryan was her fiance, Panda was Leon's brother and I don't know the name of Leon's girlfriend. There was Terence who was alone, and also Micky who was alone too. They told us how those pissed up women had actually used the emergency tannoy so their jokes were being aired around the entire airport. They also got banned from EasyJet for five whole years due to their aggressive behaviour. You reap what you sow you animals.

We talked about our flight stories, Erin and I just sat there, knowing my car was a ten minute drive away. We looked at all our mutual friends on Facebook (Erin loves that shit she does). We turned the tv in the lobby up as loud as we could before the guys at reception shooed us upstairs at 3am. Party at Panda's in 303. Erin and I decided to go to our room to assess it; looked great. Made some cups of tea and bunged the free soap in my bag. Had a little dance before we went to find the others. 

Walking through the corridor, we can hear the loudness of the Irish accents, we knock on the door and whilst Erin continues to drink the beers, I sort out a cup of tea for myself. Clare and Ryan leave first, Terence then leaves around 4am to catch his 7am flight to get back for his father's 50th.

Panda, Micky, Erin and myself to go to the top floor for the sunset view, and then we head back downstairs to finally go to bed. I start watching Love Island at 5am whilst Erin goes downstairs for the last cig of the night. After 20 minutes I was concerned, she rang and asked why I hadn't opened the door "Where are you Erin? We're in 415" of course she was on the floor below. I open the door to her disconnected eyes and she explains they told her she got the wrong door...

We headed to bed and I put the alarm on for 9am to catch the breakfast before it finished at 10am. We had a full English and we really maxed out on the meat. We saw all the crew to wave them on their way, but not Panda. Guess drinking the bottle of Southern Comfort in about an hour had got to him. We then got picked up and took our tired asses home. Nice work though, we still had a quality time with the Northern Irish, even if it was in the Britannia Airport Hotel, following a four mile walk in the airport.

 

Snappy name, huh?

To elaborate on a later date...

Favourite films about love. Well, saddest;

Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind

So lets start with seeing a perfect first meeting. Watching this intruiging couple getting to know each other and it going just the way you want it to. Then the hiccup; is it really going to turn out that they've done this all before? Surely something so nice couldn't happen a second time round. But yep, she did the bloody erasing. So we follow the couple footsteps which lead us there; starting from the recent we see the rows. We were make sense of the break up. Then it delves further into the intricucies of a relationship; the funny things you so when you're alone. What their lives had meant to each other. Then we get to the original initial meeting, we see that they were just as perfect the second time around, and all we want is this film to end with those two back together. Luckily the characters are following this thought too and they nail it. It shows how people in love are drawn to each other, and always will be.

So belongside this finding, we have the belter storyline of Kirsten Dunst and the guy from The Full Monty. You can see from the beginning she liked him, and as it goes on, you think is this really going to happen. And it does, and it happened before! "You already had him". Can't help who you're drawn to mate. 

P.S I Love You

The Notebook (obviously)

Juno

The Danish Girl

Sleeping in is giving in, so lift those heavy eyelids

So I've decided to share my favourite Arcade Fire tracks. I've loved them since I was at school and a recent appreciation has made me rekindle that and I've listened to them a lot over the past few days.

So we'll start with Rebellion. My first glimpse into them, it must have played 1,000,000 times in a row from 12am - 3am. Accompanying my five hour stint on MSN chatting to young men I've never met. Couldn't get enough of that shit. A lad named Dave from Newcastle sent me that as well as the Kings of Leon's debut album. Really showed me some good music.

Afterlife. The introduction of the synth record. 1,000,000 times playing this driving to and from work which was a 10 minute drive. The beginnings of late January nights and introducing yourself to everyone. Reminds me of a boy from my old work, didn't have much impact on my life at all. He was very pretty but there was no attraction. Great song though.

Sprawl 2. Oh my godddd...accompanies me on my way to work now, a half mile run at it's shortest. Would keep on skipping it right back to the beginning. A boy at my last work told me this song reminded him of me when I was getting told off at work for twerking in the cash office. Oh right. Well we ended up being really good friends and one time out of work we put this on when under the influence and it blew my mind. I got the album, which admittedly was long overdue, and now my housemate listens to nothing more than that. He actually came down once and said "not this again". So hypnotic.

Neighbourhood Number 1. Nothing specific to this one, oh thank god I hear you say. Just a good song that filled quietness perfectly. It's the song I always end up hearing when it's getting really close to the end of a night at my house. Friends are drunk and talking over the table whilst a song I secretly adore manages to stumble it's way onto my 3000 song playlist, and no one is going to ask me to skip it. We all have a good time.

Wake Up. So late to this party. I thought I had the entire Funeral album, that Dave must have let me down. I heard this after I heard Sprawl 2. Anyway, it's amazing. The most powerful dance moves, really can't retain the movement when listening to it in public. Having it playing whilst driving is a really great moment for me.

Power Out. An more upbeat version of Neighbourhood Number 1. So right in all places.

Keep The Car Running. It may be considered one of the most generic, but you cannot fight off that feel good vibe for long. The song that took me from Funeral to Neon Bible. I think this may have even featured in another playlist of mine. Such a great sounding combination and with that voice on top. It's nice to sing along.

No Cars Go. Ok so the love for this started a long time ago. I remember telling a boy I really fancied at college that I had heard it when I discovered Funeral, actually accused me of being a liar. Yeah, that's what I would lie about. So it was rediscovered when I brought a guy home and we listened to music. All I ever fucking do. And he was looking through my phone as he had had enough of Katy Perry, and he puts this on. Even shouted "Women and children. Let's go". With that I was sold, I delivered the line "this could be the start of something special", meant it, and then he became my boyfriend. But that all started because of dancing all over the bed being really weird. Really good song.


And finally, my most recent, a sweet little Talking Heads' cover; This Must Be The Place. Memories of the crazy weekend before with your oldest friends, doing exactly what you want to, and to music you can whip out a mega cool dance routine to. I had a really nice Christmas this year. And then I come home and discover this version, there is always a hint of excitement when you come across a combination of two of your favourite artists. This doesn't fail.

So there we go. Great. Just listen to them on headphones.