Yeah I'm currently listening to Happy Christmas - The Idols...I was in love with Sam ok!
Talking of love, I would like to apologise to everyone who I said "I love you" to when I was fucked off that Tia Maria. I'm sure I just like you very much...
I'm here alone, listening to...well I've already confessed to that, waiting for Tabby to ring me so I can get a social life. I'm hot, frustrated and in a skirt, damn I'm so cool. Not really, I just don't want to wear the same trousers as yesterday.
But I will change, as it is ever so chilly outside.
I think it's now time for some Bon Jovi as I miss Len...it seemed like only yesterday that I met the guy, and now it's all over.
I don't want it to be, it's just ended up that way.
Well, I'll leave you with what was written on my phone, toodlepip folks.
Who led the roundheads? Hitler...Aodh in the "Christmas Quiz" in maths, I was in hysterics.
Danny Dyer...A fucking stunning actor that can be found in such films as: Football Factory, Mean Machine and shit, I forgot the other one, I know what I mean though...HUMAN TRAFFIC!
Ghost World...A pretty good film.
I'm not popular enough to be different...Homer Simpson said it. I really like it and I think it speaks the truth.
At first I was afraid, I was petrified...I'm really good at singing this song, I just always forget how it starts...
48, ex23 9BB...Sam's house number and postcode, so he could get a walkometer :P
Wednesday, December 29, 2004
Thursday, December 23, 2004
OMG!
tAVB! tHAT AS THE EXACT LYIRC I EWAS ININ 2 WEN I THOUGHT ABOUT YOU. TEH ROAD THING! ever sice the day i emt you ive felt happy and odnt ever oiten to me if i bad mouthg you because you are the greatest thing that shappendint my life. before all that i was being used for is friendship, they didnt lie me at all,m it psoee it was ll just someont to hsn gout with whilst their best mate fucke off.
you are so not liek them tab, you are the greatest of themall and no mstter ehat happens i will always lvoe you, because you're not abithf, adm o dont car eif you lie, because live to
if anyone gives ahs a go at tou, jsut turn sorung and say, well hjess lveos me hbeing this way, so if you have a problem go hare it with her becaus ei dont giev a fuck.
you take care hun, because u deserve it and if akcing lveo you to bits, jess x
you are so not liek them tab, you are the greatest of themall and no mstter ehat happens i will always lvoe you, because you're not abithf, adm o dont car eif you lie, because live to
if anyone gives ahs a go at tou, jsut turn sorung and say, well hjess lveos me hbeing this way, so if you have a problem go hare it with her becaus ei dont giev a fuck.
you take care hun, because u deserve it and if akcing lveo you to bits, jess x
i loce spits on my wppelw!
i live coutnign crows., and i liek matt, and rob, and rik and and brian. they are aal;l beasutiful. oo!bos online. maybe he blokced me and maybe he didnt. christ i feel fucked. thsi is qure a reare occurance acctualyla and brian wont ring m, :( tell him to ring me
Oh tabby, i lveoy oiu. you areso swet and make sense of everything i say, brins being mean to me about love. hat happenmds if i did lvoe him'>@ he would never knwo because he atES ME. ANF HE ALWAYS WILL DO.
#
well what do i cate? hes a frgwat friend and ive missedhim lovbeas but do ilvoe him? i dunool he makes me laugh andm,akes me cry.
i lvo e alex. dammnf he sjust so jice and hot and mine, onece. but now he sint
lets talk abiout abta, i lve tab. shes the greatsets
i love tab, shes my idol. if i cud be anyione int eh world i woyud be her beacuae shes everything i want to bw, shes beautiufl, got a greta personaltiy and shes just eh greatest human being alive;
i love you tab, never be sometone yur not becayse i dont want you to ever be differnt, i lveo you xxx
Oh tabby, i lveoy oiu. you areso swet and make sense of everything i say, brins being mean to me about love. hat happenmds if i did lvoe him'>@ he would never knwo because he atES ME. ANF HE ALWAYS WILL DO.
#
well what do i cate? hes a frgwat friend and ive missedhim lovbeas but do ilvoe him? i dunool he makes me laugh andm,akes me cry.
i lvo e alex. dammnf he sjust so jice and hot and mine, onece. but now he sint
lets talk abiout abta, i lve tab. shes the greatsets
i love tab, shes my idol. if i cud be anyione int eh world i woyud be her beacuae shes everything i want to bw, shes beautiufl, got a greta personaltiy and shes just eh greatest human being alive;
i love you tab, never be sometone yur not becayse i dont want you to ever be differnt, i lveo you xxx
Hokd on!
Wiw! Todays ben good, been tlakign to rob, the new lonv,e. he;s great I lvow him lol/ I lce tab, pig, rik n len too, not int ehtorde though! ive had my hair dyed! i lvoe brian teh snail too. he is great,. tab your are actualyl my bestest friend int eh wordla dn no ine will change that, people say you may be imamture but what the fuck hsss it got to do with them? i lkove you the way you are, amd so does len so just ntabby because itd the pebst opersonality int ehworld.
I lveo you ttba, pig, rik and len adn brin aand rob xxx
I lveo you ttba, pig, rik and len adn brin aand rob xxx
Saturday, December 11, 2004
I don't care about spots on my apples...
Well the weekends been funny, talking about Corrin feeding a baby with tits...I suppose you would of had to of been there.
For the first time in about 41 weeks Tabby's gonna stay over tonight <3 We're gonna watch Notting Hill, and in the morning...I'm eating waffles :D
I just have to write about last lesson yesterday, it was s.e and I got my substitute to do a number of impressions. He sounds like Dr. Evil so I got him to talk about the fricken laser, and also he has a Bristolish accent so I got himto say yeah, but no, but yeah, but no...
Then me, Alex, Dave, Chang and Ben looked at the FHM magazine and I was in stitches, reading the sex tips and laughing at people's...frans...
Funny as fuck, don't think I was really invited to read it...but I did :)
Well, life's been treating ok recently, got shit results in my mock exams but hey! Nothing goes right for Miss Jessy Sturt.
But I will be loaded when I'm older; I'm a natural born entertainer.
If only I could sing...festering masculine voice and out-of-tunedness.
Well I'm off now, toodlepipx
For the first time in about 41 weeks Tabby's gonna stay over tonight <3 We're gonna watch Notting Hill, and in the morning...I'm eating waffles :D
I just have to write about last lesson yesterday, it was s.e and I got my substitute to do a number of impressions. He sounds like Dr. Evil so I got him to talk about the fricken laser, and also he has a Bristolish accent so I got himto say yeah, but no, but yeah, but no...
Then me, Alex, Dave, Chang and Ben looked at the FHM magazine and I was in stitches, reading the sex tips and laughing at people's...frans...
Funny as fuck, don't think I was really invited to read it...but I did :)
Well, life's been treating ok recently, got shit results in my mock exams but hey! Nothing goes right for Miss Jessy Sturt.
But I will be loaded when I'm older; I'm a natural born entertainer.
If only I could sing...festering masculine voice and out-of-tunedness.
Well I'm off now, toodlepipx
Tuesday, December 07, 2004
You grew up way too fast, now there's nothing to believe
Well, I'll say Happy Birthday to John Rzeznik, 41 two days ago.
Damn I love that guy, and I've only just realised what life he went through, now I know where all the metaphorical songs came from.
It's sad isn't it? No one has a decent life, there's always at least one thing to get in people's ways. I mean, I have a family that still live together, we're not poor, but I still hate it!
I lack love, not the family love that I receive everyday but you know, that love.
I know if you're reading this you'll be thinking: She's just another female teenager who doesn't know what she's talking about, but I think I do. I mean, I have everything I could ever wish for except love, and decent hair, and clean skin. But hey, I don't care about my appearance so those can wait.
I feel extremely lame, yes that's right, I'm listening to Fleetwood Mac.
Tell me lies tell me sweet little lies...
Today was actually really good. At first I had an exam, it was ok, kinda easy I guess. The last of them...finally! The remaining time of second lesson was spent talking to Alex about golf, I will be spying on him at the weekend...
At break we just had a fag, I successsfully scared Corrin's little brother, bless him and his sexiness ;) I also managed to get the oh so great Mcfly songs in people's heads *mwahahahahahahahahahaha* I'm sooo bad...
Third lesson was maths, me and Nicola had a laugh, and I talked to Mopflop again! But festering Tilz came back so I had to depart. Fourth lesson was art, it was incredibly boring as Lettie and Anna decided not to join me, again. So it was just me and "Guru", and we don't talk. I got a D/E for the art exam, yes I know it's shit...but I can't draw.
Lunch was ok, it mainly consisted of me and Tab singing our perverted songs on multiple occasions, smoking illegal substances and smoking legal substances!
Last lesson was food, I was in a very big hyper and kept grabbing all my salmons' bums. I love those guys.
I saw Richard Rowland, and I told him of my undying love for him...after acting in a very immature manner for example, knocking on classroom doors and running away, screaming in people's faces and telling them that a) the chickens are after them or b) that I'm imagining them naked.
So yes... I'll either go to Corrin's then go to college tomorrow or go to Pig's so I can cook at school tomorrow.
I'll see how things go, thank you my friendly computer, for allowing me to type my oh-so-boring life.
I love you, God I'm lame...I just confessed love to a machine, oh but I do.
Toodlepip x
P.s These need to be done:
1:13 ... The time on "Andre" when he calls his wife a phallus
talk to get at their meaning not to find yours... On a rizla packet
fittys in teachers ewan and john - ...Didn't quite write the names down
rockstar - mark wahlberg colorful...I watched a film and I liked this song
motherlode...a cheat for The Sims 2
away from the sun 3 doors down...a song I wanted to download, and did
8 8tr 4 9al ... Tab and Craigs house numbers and postcodes, they wanted walkometers :D
steve wilson ... A fitty tha presents this really lame child show
madonna - ray of light ...another song I wanted to download, and did
elton john your song ...and again
the home is somewhere to get away from all your problems, not to face them. stacey about the domestic abuse week ...it explains it all
jamie cullum everlasting love ...another song to download, which I have
cascada - i need a miracle ...a song that I have to download, remind me sometime
the proclaimers were at number 36 ...I felt the need to tell Tab
weezer hashpipe sounds like the beginning of gwen stefani what you waiting for ...explains it all
how can i prove that we're live? penis ...the news guy said it on the Simpsons, facking hilarious
track 9 dirty dancing ost ... another song to download, which I have
dont wanna be an american immigrant ...Kayleigh got the lyrics wrong...I found it hilarious
the lazyboyz sweet child of mine bel-air feat. lisa sunshine after the rain ...another couple of songs to download
missing you tina turner ...and again
dad was obsessed with the yearbook ...a dream I had
go confidently in the direction of your dreams. live the life you have imagined ...on a rizla packet
ooh! free chocolate! ...Tab, when she recieved an email
y is it so warm? because its a fridge ...Mine and Pig's covnersation
warpigs dresdon dolls ...a really fucked up song that Tab wants to download
Damn I love that guy, and I've only just realised what life he went through, now I know where all the metaphorical songs came from.
It's sad isn't it? No one has a decent life, there's always at least one thing to get in people's ways. I mean, I have a family that still live together, we're not poor, but I still hate it!
I lack love, not the family love that I receive everyday but you know, that love.
I know if you're reading this you'll be thinking: She's just another female teenager who doesn't know what she's talking about, but I think I do. I mean, I have everything I could ever wish for except love, and decent hair, and clean skin. But hey, I don't care about my appearance so those can wait.
I feel extremely lame, yes that's right, I'm listening to Fleetwood Mac.
Tell me lies tell me sweet little lies...
Today was actually really good. At first I had an exam, it was ok, kinda easy I guess. The last of them...finally! The remaining time of second lesson was spent talking to Alex about golf, I will be spying on him at the weekend...
At break we just had a fag, I successsfully scared Corrin's little brother, bless him and his sexiness ;) I also managed to get the oh so great Mcfly songs in people's heads *mwahahahahahahahahahaha* I'm sooo bad...
Third lesson was maths, me and Nicola had a laugh, and I talked to Mopflop again! But festering Tilz came back so I had to depart. Fourth lesson was art, it was incredibly boring as Lettie and Anna decided not to join me, again. So it was just me and "Guru", and we don't talk. I got a D/E for the art exam, yes I know it's shit...but I can't draw.
Lunch was ok, it mainly consisted of me and Tab singing our perverted songs on multiple occasions, smoking illegal substances and smoking legal substances!
Last lesson was food, I was in a very big hyper and kept grabbing all my salmons' bums. I love those guys.
I saw Richard Rowland, and I told him of my undying love for him...after acting in a very immature manner for example, knocking on classroom doors and running away, screaming in people's faces and telling them that a) the chickens are after them or b) that I'm imagining them naked.
So yes... I'll either go to Corrin's then go to college tomorrow or go to Pig's so I can cook at school tomorrow.
I'll see how things go, thank you my friendly computer, for allowing me to type my oh-so-boring life.
I love you, God I'm lame...I just confessed love to a machine, oh but I do.
Toodlepip x
P.s These need to be done:
1:13 ... The time on "Andre" when he calls his wife a phallus
talk to get at their meaning not to find yours... On a rizla packet
fittys in teachers ewan and john - ...Didn't quite write the names down
rockstar - mark wahlberg colorful...I watched a film and I liked this song
motherlode...a cheat for The Sims 2
away from the sun 3 doors down...a song I wanted to download, and did
8 8tr 4 9al ... Tab and Craigs house numbers and postcodes, they wanted walkometers :D
steve wilson ... A fitty tha presents this really lame child show
madonna - ray of light ...another song I wanted to download, and did
elton john your song ...and again
the home is somewhere to get away from all your problems, not to face them. stacey about the domestic abuse week ...it explains it all
jamie cullum everlasting love ...another song to download, which I have
cascada - i need a miracle ...a song that I have to download, remind me sometime
the proclaimers were at number 36 ...I felt the need to tell Tab
weezer hashpipe sounds like the beginning of gwen stefani what you waiting for ...explains it all
how can i prove that we're live? penis ...the news guy said it on the Simpsons, facking hilarious
track 9 dirty dancing ost ... another song to download, which I have
dont wanna be an american immigrant ...Kayleigh got the lyrics wrong...I found it hilarious
the lazyboyz sweet child of mine bel-air feat. lisa sunshine after the rain ...another couple of songs to download
missing you tina turner ...and again
dad was obsessed with the yearbook ...a dream I had
go confidently in the direction of your dreams. live the life you have imagined ...on a rizla packet
ooh! free chocolate! ...Tab, when she recieved an email
y is it so warm? because its a fridge ...Mine and Pig's covnersation
warpigs dresdon dolls ...a really fucked up song that Tab wants to download
Tuesday, November 23, 2004
The world has come between us
I don't know why, but I have got into a very thoughtful mood. Recently I have been thinking about stuff, alot of stuff. Obviously. And all I recognise love is of fixed image sin my head, video films that were never recorded, photos that were naever taken. This is taking over my life and I really want the videos and photos to exist, and to be in my hands. I want to have the memories I have been longing for. I have finally realised that crying myself to sleep everynight is not going to help the situation. Therefore; I am pushing the best of me to the world and I'm going to fall in love. A real love, that isn't just a desire of a mans hands around me. A love that will last. I realise I am only 15, and alot of people will dispute with me saying I won't find it. But I'm Jess Sturt, and whatever I want...I will get.
All my life I have depended on love to get me through, when i was a baby I depended on my mother to feed me, clothe me and bathe me. Through my childohood I relied on my friends to give me the love, and now, although I know my friends are always here, I need a love that is stronger.
As good old Shakira sang: theres a foot for every shoe
I am a foot, and I will find my shoe, I need to, to survive.
Toodlepipx
All my life I have depended on love to get me through, when i was a baby I depended on my mother to feed me, clothe me and bathe me. Through my childohood I relied on my friends to give me the love, and now, although I know my friends are always here, I need a love that is stronger.
As good old Shakira sang: theres a foot for every shoe
I am a foot, and I will find my shoe, I need to, to survive.
Toodlepipx
Friday, November 19, 2004
Lifes good again :D
Right, don't get me wrong, I love Tab more than anything in the world.
But recently I've been feeling bored, doing the same shit everyday. Nothing ever changing. It's led to arguments and stuff and now Jessy Sturt has gained her confidence back.
Finally.
And most of it is due to my good friend, Miss Corrin Poo Marie Salt.
But recently I've been feeling bored, doing the same shit everyday. Nothing ever changing. It's led to arguments and stuff and now Jessy Sturt has gained her confidence back.
Finally.
And most of it is due to my good friend, Miss Corrin Poo Marie Salt.
Sunday, November 07, 2004
Hello
Well, this weekends been different to the usual. Me and Tab went to Sutcombe, because of like this big party thing. She enjoyed it, me not so much. Probably because I was sober. But it soon came to an end (thank God). I really didn't appreciate guys touching my ass and face just because I walk past them.
I didn't pull, surprise I think not.
Tab did, I really loved the way she would always do it when I couldn't leave her...
So I just sat there, with the face of a smacked ass.
Yesterday we stayed round Pig's till about 1 in the morning, it was fun. We watched about 5 films, they were cool actually. The walk home was hilarious.
The sleep was amazing.
And now, my arms ache, beautiful music is playing and I'm happy.
I'll just write what's on my phone.
ive been waiting for you...the film we watched last night, I fancied Eric. I found out today his name is Christian Campbell.
razorlight vice... a song I wanted to download
playground love - air. emporer norton...another song I wanted to download
adrian mutu...A fitty footballer
im a frickin chicken...I found this hilarious when I was dreaming
eyes of laura mars... a film in which Tommy Lee Jones looked stunning in
people who want pets go to a petshop. people who want a petshop go to a petshopshop. people who want a petshopshop are just being silly...it was on Little Britain. Me and Pig were in hysterics.
just the two of us - austin powers...another song to download
guess what i had for breakfast. bacon, macaroni and brocolli. oh look! 3 bs! Oh no...macaroni begins with an m...look at my brain
im so much older than i can take...Lyrics from All These Thing I've Done - The Killers that I like.
IF YOU GET WITH ONE SPICE GIRL YOU GET THE WHOLE FIVE! AAA! mel b can fuck off though...Nips made me laugh
catch your dreams before they blow away...I liked this saying
is there more to life than this?...on the back of a college bus
that immature attitude wont get you anywhere. ARCHIBALD...I just wanted Archibald to be on my phone
i know im not alone when im here on my own...me and Pig heard it on tv, it actually doesn't make sense
janiffer and normon...funny names on Coutdown Tv
gordon from bordon...Again, this is self explanatory
Have fun and take bears on holiday and leave them on mountains.
Love to all x
I didn't pull, surprise I think not.
Tab did, I really loved the way she would always do it when I couldn't leave her...
So I just sat there, with the face of a smacked ass.
Yesterday we stayed round Pig's till about 1 in the morning, it was fun. We watched about 5 films, they were cool actually. The walk home was hilarious.
The sleep was amazing.
And now, my arms ache, beautiful music is playing and I'm happy.
I'll just write what's on my phone.
ive been waiting for you...the film we watched last night, I fancied Eric. I found out today his name is Christian Campbell.
razorlight vice... a song I wanted to download
playground love - air. emporer norton...another song I wanted to download
adrian mutu...A fitty footballer
im a frickin chicken...I found this hilarious when I was dreaming
eyes of laura mars... a film in which Tommy Lee Jones looked stunning in
people who want pets go to a petshop. people who want a petshop go to a petshopshop. people who want a petshopshop are just being silly...it was on Little Britain. Me and Pig were in hysterics.
just the two of us - austin powers...another song to download
guess what i had for breakfast. bacon, macaroni and brocolli. oh look! 3 bs! Oh no...macaroni begins with an m...look at my brain
im so much older than i can take...Lyrics from All These Thing I've Done - The Killers that I like.
IF YOU GET WITH ONE SPICE GIRL YOU GET THE WHOLE FIVE! AAA! mel b can fuck off though...Nips made me laugh
catch your dreams before they blow away...I liked this saying
is there more to life than this?...on the back of a college bus
that immature attitude wont get you anywhere. ARCHIBALD...I just wanted Archibald to be on my phone
i know im not alone when im here on my own...me and Pig heard it on tv, it actually doesn't make sense
janiffer and normon...funny names on Coutdown Tv
gordon from bordon...Again, this is self explanatory
Have fun and take bears on holiday and leave them on mountains.
Love to all x
Monday, November 01, 2004
I'm staying in all day...I may as well make some use
And it's all in how you mix the two And it starts just where the light exists It's a feeling that you cannot miss And it burns a hole Through everyone that feels it Well your never gonna find it If your looking for it Won't come your way Well you'll never find it If your looking for it Should've done something but I've done it enough By the way your hands were shaking Rather waste some time with you And you never would have though in the end How amazing it feels just to live againIt's a feeling that you cannot missIt burns a hole through everyone that feels it Should've said something but I've said it enough By the way my words were faded Rather waste some time with you
I hate...friends?
Me?
Life?
It's all a complete load of turd.
I hate...friends?
Me?
Life?
It's all a complete load of turd.
Sunday, October 31, 2004
Happy Halloween?
Honey It's been a long time coming And I can't stop now Such a long time running And I can't stop now Do you hear my heart beating? Can you hear the sound? Cos I can't help thinking And I don't look down... And then I looked up at the sun and I could see Oh the way that gravity turns for you and me And then I looked up at the sky and saw the sun And the way that gravity pulls on everyone On everyone...Baby its been a long time waiting Such a long long time And I can't stop smiling No I can't stop now Do you hear my heart beating? Oh can you hear that sound? Cos I can't help crying And I won't look down... And then I looked up at the sun and I could see Oh the way that gravity turns on you and me And then I looked up at the sun and saw the sky And the way that gravity pulls on you and I On you and I
Yesterday was horrible, I spent the entire day by myself (thanks for that, friends) without nicotine. It's now been over 24 hours since my last cigarette. I'm ok now, last night I got hot and started to panic. But it was ok, I was just stressed.
I had two good conversations last night. One was with Brian, who appears to be my new best friend from HotorNot. He's great and I feel we can talk about anything. It's so cool. He just generally makes me feel good about myself. And another one was with this random guy from Nexopia. But it was so nice. I love conversations with new people because you don't knwo what to expect, or what you'll find out.
It is now 10:56 am, I'm going to ring Pig and see if he'll see me, along with Tab and Nips. I hate being alone.
It's what I fear most.
I started reading the stuff between me and Alex again
Yesterday was horrible, I spent the entire day by myself (thanks for that, friends) without nicotine. It's now been over 24 hours since my last cigarette. I'm ok now, last night I got hot and started to panic. But it was ok, I was just stressed.
I had two good conversations last night. One was with Brian, who appears to be my new best friend from HotorNot. He's great and I feel we can talk about anything. It's so cool. He just generally makes me feel good about myself. And another one was with this random guy from Nexopia. But it was so nice. I love conversations with new people because you don't knwo what to expect, or what you'll find out.
It is now 10:56 am, I'm going to ring Pig and see if he'll see me, along with Tab and Nips. I hate being alone.
It's what I fear most.
I started reading the stuff between me and Alex again
Wednesday, October 27, 2004
I'm bored :(
Not just today, life. I mean I do nothing...and so...yeah. I'm left on this festering computer signing up to everything just in order to relieve boredom, I should be out living my life but all I can think about is Alex. Yes it's fetsering him again. Last night I text him, the first time in 2 months. I recieved nothing back. I had someone ring me this morning on a withheld number, they hung up as soon as I said hello, but it wouldn't of been him anayway...that would be something for me to be happy about...no way would it happen.
Well if you wanted honesty, that's all you had to say.
I never want to let you down or have you go, it's better off this way.
For all the dirty looks, the photographs your boyfriend took,
Remember when you broke your foot from jumping out the second floor?
I'm not okay.
I'm not okay.
I'm not okay.
You wear me out.
What will it take to show you that it's not the life it seems?
(I'm not okay)
I told you time and time again you sing the words but don't know what they mean
(I'm not okay)
So be a joke and look, another line without a hook
I held you close as we both shook for the last time take a good hard look!
I'm not okay.
I'm not okay.
I'm not okay.
You wear me out.
Forget about the dirty looks
The photographs your boyfriend took?
You said you read me like a book, but the pages are all torn and frayed
I'm okay.
I'm okay!
I'm okay, now
(I'm okay, now)
But you really need to listen to me
Because I'm telling you the truth
I mean this, I'm okay!
(Trust Me)
I'm not okay
I'm not okay
Well, I'm not okay
I'm not o-f***ing-kay
I'm not okay
I'm not okay
(Okay)
Toodlepip x
Well if you wanted honesty, that's all you had to say.
I never want to let you down or have you go, it's better off this way.
For all the dirty looks, the photographs your boyfriend took,
Remember when you broke your foot from jumping out the second floor?
I'm not okay.
I'm not okay.
I'm not okay.
You wear me out.
What will it take to show you that it's not the life it seems?
(I'm not okay)
I told you time and time again you sing the words but don't know what they mean
(I'm not okay)
So be a joke and look, another line without a hook
I held you close as we both shook for the last time take a good hard look!
I'm not okay.
I'm not okay.
I'm not okay.
You wear me out.
Forget about the dirty looks
The photographs your boyfriend took?
You said you read me like a book, but the pages are all torn and frayed
I'm okay.
I'm okay!
I'm okay, now
(I'm okay, now)
But you really need to listen to me
Because I'm telling you the truth
I mean this, I'm okay!
(Trust Me)
I'm not okay
I'm not okay
Well, I'm not okay
I'm not o-f***ing-kay
I'm not okay
I'm not okay
(Okay)
Toodlepip x
Tuesday, October 12, 2004
Well it's got so boring now...
Nearly a year of blogging, and yet life just seems to get shitter and more boring than ever before, is this what it is like when you grow up? Damn I wanna be younger again...
Well I'll put on here some of the funny things I have saved on my phone:
Your living in a dream Jess...the problems have only just started...I swaer I've already wrote that...but it's still on my phone! Originally from Hollyoaks, but I changed the name to mine because I have recently discovered that I am Jess Sturt, and I have the wonderful talent of not knowing the difference from dreams to reality...
Slimey jelly dino...Air said it when I was dreaming, it seemed so funny at the time...
5 th asil air 26th feb bo...I was writing down Air and Bo's birthdays, and ofcourse I was dreaming at the time
18th oct mon...There's Mon's birthday!
im tired of feeling nothing goodbye...Lyrics from Black and Blue - Counting Crows
l640dry...Ok I look so much like a prowler now! A "mates" car registration
tellow wellow bears...Tab said it when she was dreaming. She was supposed to say Yellow jelly bears. It was funny.
friday january 29th 2044 54 years old...That's the day I'm gonna die folks, according to the internet.
jimmy eat wnrld pain...A song I heard on the radio on the way back home in Frankie's car, again I was dreaming.
gravity...A new song out at the moment, I love it! But I don't know who sings it, so if you know who then please leave a comment :)
paki that sounds like mon n retard that walks like da...At college you can see anything.
i love you, y not?...Me and Air, I was yet again dreaming and found this hilarious.
can u roll a joint, spliff?...I called Nips "Spliff", and yes, I had been dreaming.
pressqpe on the r6of...I'll leave you to figure that one out...
tom n julie were on the weakest link...Self explanatory I think.
geting wiv angy n se lesson wiv farsapq...The last word was supposed to say Farrar...it was my dream ( I write them down, not obsessed!)
heroin. cuxx we all need heroin. addibts need hesoin...I was dreaming and this was a discussion between Tab and Nips.
me kucy michaela m crorrin getin pisd on the beach. storm brewing up, michaela going skitz...Another dream of mine
The stupid fings pigs done whilst he was pissed...such as: Biting Darren Clayton's leg, Asking a bird to pull him again if he bought her a pint and falling into a bush "mid piss"
Mid piss...I found this word entertaining when I was dreaming, it's weird if you say it a couple of times...
embasred bout fone shouting 2 lettie...Something that happened a while back, I wanted to think of it when I was sober.
Pardon me it wasnt me it was you...I was so proud of myself when I made that up! (Again I had been dreaming)
Rhian Benson - Say how I feel remix...A song I liked
Well that's my draft box empty. Plans for the next couple of weeks:
Well I'll put on here some of the funny things I have saved on my phone:
Your living in a dream Jess...the problems have only just started...I swaer I've already wrote that...but it's still on my phone! Originally from Hollyoaks, but I changed the name to mine because I have recently discovered that I am Jess Sturt, and I have the wonderful talent of not knowing the difference from dreams to reality...
Slimey jelly dino...Air said it when I was dreaming, it seemed so funny at the time...
5 th asil air 26th feb bo...I was writing down Air and Bo's birthdays, and ofcourse I was dreaming at the time
18th oct mon...There's Mon's birthday!
im tired of feeling nothing goodbye...Lyrics from Black and Blue - Counting Crows
l640dry...Ok I look so much like a prowler now! A "mates" car registration
tellow wellow bears...Tab said it when she was dreaming. She was supposed to say Yellow jelly bears. It was funny.
friday january 29th 2044 54 years old...That's the day I'm gonna die folks, according to the internet.
jimmy eat wnrld pain...A song I heard on the radio on the way back home in Frankie's car, again I was dreaming.
gravity...A new song out at the moment, I love it! But I don't know who sings it, so if you know who then please leave a comment :)
paki that sounds like mon n retard that walks like da...At college you can see anything.
i love you, y not?...Me and Air, I was yet again dreaming and found this hilarious.
can u roll a joint, spliff?...I called Nips "Spliff", and yes, I had been dreaming.
pressqpe on the r6of...I'll leave you to figure that one out...
tom n julie were on the weakest link...Self explanatory I think.
geting wiv angy n se lesson wiv farsapq...The last word was supposed to say Farrar...it was my dream ( I write them down, not obsessed!)
heroin. cuxx we all need heroin. addibts need hesoin...I was dreaming and this was a discussion between Tab and Nips.
me kucy michaela m crorrin getin pisd on the beach. storm brewing up, michaela going skitz...Another dream of mine
The stupid fings pigs done whilst he was pissed...such as: Biting Darren Clayton's leg, Asking a bird to pull him again if he bought her a pint and falling into a bush "mid piss"
Mid piss...I found this word entertaining when I was dreaming, it's weird if you say it a couple of times...
embasred bout fone shouting 2 lettie...Something that happened a while back, I wanted to think of it when I was sober.
Pardon me it wasnt me it was you...I was so proud of myself when I made that up! (Again I had been dreaming)
Rhian Benson - Say how I feel remix...A song I liked
Well that's my draft box empty. Plans for the next couple of weeks:
- Make a film
- Get a boyfriend
- Get a job
- Spend as much time with friends as possible
- Get over Alex
Saturday, October 02, 2004
It's been a good day :)
Wow! Nearly a year of blogging, and it gets so much worse with every post I write...
Today was good, was woken up by my cockatiel saying: Birdy, birdy, birdy...Ooh! My legs bleeding, I'll just get some tissue...or not, it'll be alright on the chair.
Well yes, I woke up, had a laugh with Tabby about tranny's, owning Bernard's Watch (care for your hair "Lena"...). It was good, then we got a lift to Pig's, watched Dawn Of The Dead then went out with Nips down the Bird Hut.
Me and Tab made the most amazing song! Probably because we were dreaming...but still it was cool. On the way home I noticed a rainbow, I was actually breath taken, I video recorded it. I've been thinking in depth about everyth8ing today and now I have a new picture in mind to draw...Well came home, masturbated for so long! Then now I'm on here. That will be enough for now...
Toodlepipxxx
Today was good, was woken up by my cockatiel saying: Birdy, birdy, birdy...Ooh! My legs bleeding, I'll just get some tissue...or not, it'll be alright on the chair.
Well yes, I woke up, had a laugh with Tabby about tranny's, owning Bernard's Watch (care for your hair "Lena"...). It was good, then we got a lift to Pig's, watched Dawn Of The Dead then went out with Nips down the Bird Hut.
Me and Tab made the most amazing song! Probably because we were dreaming...but still it was cool. On the way home I noticed a rainbow, I was actually breath taken, I video recorded it. I've been thinking in depth about everyth8ing today and now I have a new picture in mind to draw...Well came home, masturbated for so long! Then now I'm on here. That will be enough for now...
Toodlepipxxx
Monday, September 27, 2004
Wow! Todays been cool...
School was ok, but I just gotta give this person a shout out, these past few days I've been feeling liek shit, but just reading these messages have brought me in stitches:
Hi im nick. You can tell from my pic im 50 cent's half-brother, so if you're into six-packs, click "yes" and just tell me Stella or Bud, i'll check what's left in the fridge. i'm here to try and cure my e*bay addiction ha ha, wish me luck (sigh!).
(He's white and skinny...)
hi jess! i'll straighten up any other bent pics you have. i just got a digital camera and the photo editing program that goes with, and i can't stop using it! i'm only 10 years behind everyone else! yayyyyy..... why not impress your friends and family with photos the right way up? 1p for each, 10p for a set of 24, next day delivery. i just had a look at your personal website, and i've decided you're mad. and maybe dangerous. add me if you want, but i fear for my safety. i'm not too often on msn tho, as i live a glamorous and exciting life and i'm much more likeky to be shopping at tesco or taking the garbage out than on my computer. in the meantime, twiddle poop to you too nick
Thank you Nick...
Hi im nick. You can tell from my pic im 50 cent's half-brother, so if you're into six-packs, click "yes" and just tell me Stella or Bud, i'll check what's left in the fridge. i'm here to try and cure my e*bay addiction ha ha, wish me luck (sigh!).
(He's white and skinny...)
hi jess! i'll straighten up any other bent pics you have. i just got a digital camera and the photo editing program that goes with, and i can't stop using it! i'm only 10 years behind everyone else! yayyyyy..... why not impress your friends and family with photos the right way up? 1p for each, 10p for a set of 24, next day delivery. i just had a look at your personal website, and i've decided you're mad. and maybe dangerous. add me if you want, but i fear for my safety. i'm not too often on msn tho, as i live a glamorous and exciting life and i'm much more likeky to be shopping at tesco or taking the garbage out than on my computer. in the meantime, twiddle poop to you too nick
Thank you Nick...
Friday, September 24, 2004
Just not enough time left
Well...the last weeks have been odd, I'm back at school. Homeworks starting to pile in but why write about that? Recently things have been getting better, I mean I'm hanging out with my old mates again, it feels so good catching up! But it just feels bad when you know all the fun we once had has gone, we're all changing and I just don't feel the same. What happened to the Jess that didn't give a shit? She's been replaced with an insecure freak! I mean come on! I used to be able to sit and talk to anyone, actually anyone and have a good time. Now I sit alone, with no smile on my face and always look depressed.
I wanna go back but there's something that's holding me back, I've tried so hard to work out what it is...but I just can't.
Also, all this festering boyfriend business. Everyone's got one!
Tabby - Nips
Michaela - Dave
Jade - Adam (soon)
Frankie - Aaron (soon)
Corrin - Ad
Chrystynay - Simon
Soggy - Marc
Lucy - Shaun (soon)
and Lettie...well Hal? I dunno...haven't seen her in a while actually...
Well yeah, it's always festering me that's so unlike the rest of my friends, and it annoys me because it pushes me away from them, I can't have conversations like they do.
Oh I want to be socialable again, I mean what happened to me and Craig like talking all the time? What happened to even talking to John? Why does everyone who I once knew and got along fine with just ignore me now?
This is turd...all turd...I mean I'm staying in on a Friday night...
But I guess things can only get better, festering optimistic...
Oh yeah...why's it so hard for me to get over people? Alex! Why are you so fucking nice but just fail to notice my existance...I think I fucking love you. Every single thing reminds me of you, you're the only guy I've got on so easily with...just come back
I wanna go back but there's something that's holding me back, I've tried so hard to work out what it is...but I just can't.
Also, all this festering boyfriend business. Everyone's got one!
Tabby - Nips
Michaela - Dave
Jade - Adam (soon)
Frankie - Aaron (soon)
Corrin - Ad
Chrystynay - Simon
Soggy - Marc
Lucy - Shaun (soon)
and Lettie...well Hal? I dunno...haven't seen her in a while actually...
Well yeah, it's always festering me that's so unlike the rest of my friends, and it annoys me because it pushes me away from them, I can't have conversations like they do.
Oh I want to be socialable again, I mean what happened to me and Craig like talking all the time? What happened to even talking to John? Why does everyone who I once knew and got along fine with just ignore me now?
This is turd...all turd...I mean I'm staying in on a Friday night...
But I guess things can only get better, festering optimistic...
Oh yeah...why's it so hard for me to get over people? Alex! Why are you so fucking nice but just fail to notice my existance...I think I fucking love you. Every single thing reminds me of you, you're the only guy I've got on so easily with...just come back
Saturday, September 04, 2004
Well it's been a while...
And I'm still single. Still friends with Tab, Pig and the rest of the crew...
The last few weeks have been weird, seeing Paul again made me just like him even more. Recieving a text from Matt has reminded me of the two weeks that were just amazing, and talking to Alex; the guy I fell in love with, and yet again Jess is heartbroken.
Today has been tearful. I've been crying all day. I've finally realised I'm no longer Jess Sturt at all. I have completely new friends, completely different lifestyle, but yet I still can't let people go.
Why am I so vulnerable to loving people? I get so jealous...so clingy. No wonder why Alex hates me.
I've been told I'm never going to be loved. Thanks for that scorpiomale@hotmail.com
And why is it that everything reminds me of Alex, actually everything. I can't go through one slow song without breaking down.
It's getting ridiculous.
I am nothing but a teenage girl that feels like her world is being torn apart. I'm not the first, and by far not the last. But I wish I could.
I just have to keep telling myself that theres going to be so many more times like this in the future, worse no doubt. How am I going to be able to cope?
I'm not going to be able to.
The last few weeks have been weird, seeing Paul again made me just like him even more. Recieving a text from Matt has reminded me of the two weeks that were just amazing, and talking to Alex; the guy I fell in love with, and yet again Jess is heartbroken.
Today has been tearful. I've been crying all day. I've finally realised I'm no longer Jess Sturt at all. I have completely new friends, completely different lifestyle, but yet I still can't let people go.
Why am I so vulnerable to loving people? I get so jealous...so clingy. No wonder why Alex hates me.
I've been told I'm never going to be loved. Thanks for that scorpiomale@hotmail.com
And why is it that everything reminds me of Alex, actually everything. I can't go through one slow song without breaking down.
It's getting ridiculous.
I am nothing but a teenage girl that feels like her world is being torn apart. I'm not the first, and by far not the last. But I wish I could.
I just have to keep telling myself that theres going to be so many more times like this in the future, worse no doubt. How am I going to be able to cope?
I'm not going to be able to.
Thursday, August 26, 2004
It's the foonies!
Well theres quite alot here, and most of it won't make sense! But if you wish to carry on reading...please do so :)
Dont' be so quick to walk away, just because nips is gay...Tab sang it to Justin Timberlakes - Rock Your Body, it was funny.
Fanny Pimdnal...something random Tab wrote on my phone
You might not know how much I have loved you. Just who I am to you. You never notice my existence. Was it just a fairytale that had never started?...I found it on a site and fell in love with it.
Mind that person! Oh! It's a traingle...Karen's skill!
Glow in the dark Jesus..Grandma had one, I found it hilarious
The end to this is how it stops...Something on tv
I look in the mirror, oh no. It's me again...I heard that, and liked it
Richard Bacon...Is fooking gorgeous!
Oh look its a little bouncing china man. Called doing doing...My Dad about a chinese gymnast in the olympics
Curt Beercock, brother of Julie Smith...It was on the news
You can take ma salmon but you cannae take ma freedom...Karen said it in a Scottish accent, it was hilarious
Forgotten when I'm gone. But unforgettable while I'm here...Another great saying
Fish Street...Yeah I found it funny!
Townie Sammy twin...That was weird!
Everythings wrong. But it's alrite :)...Lyrics for a Goo Goo Dolls song, I like it :)
525...the page I had got up to in my book
The Cock Inn...A pub
Whats it when someone rings you? *I sing* Oh! A bit like dangerman then?...My mums skill
Grandmas views on McDonalds effect on the world: the children are getting too fat...I found it funny
Just imagne Grandma listening to Prodigy...I found this hilarious!
Adam Drury...Another fitty
5 letters. Begins with o, ends with e. orange? otter?...It was on brainteaser
hermish...On brainteaser
o mum i like paul. u wana go 2 pooles cavern?...Mum's going deaf
jemima puddleduck. is that donald ducks bird?...Someone behind me in the queue for the log flume said it, I found it hilarious
passionofthemullet.co.uk...it was written in the queue for Spinball Whizzer...check it out guys
nampak...It was written on a truck...LMAO!!!
becky mantin...A really fit weather person
jus bcuz im paranoid dnt mean that ppl ent folowing me...It was on 8 legged freaks, I like it!
is this from rock of school jess?...Dad's skill
under cozzum. under cover rozzer...Air had me in stitches!
damien rice cannonball...I love this song!
hes my running sheep...Tab...
were all giant turnips...Me...
look at it...its floppy...Peeg...
Yeah I had bov fro everythign to be perfect towards the end. Well that took ages, so until the fun next time whenI have to empty my phone from turd...toodlepipxxxxx
Dont' be so quick to walk away, just because nips is gay...Tab sang it to Justin Timberlakes - Rock Your Body, it was funny.
Fanny Pimdnal...something random Tab wrote on my phone
You might not know how much I have loved you. Just who I am to you. You never notice my existence. Was it just a fairytale that had never started?...I found it on a site and fell in love with it.
Mind that person! Oh! It's a traingle...Karen's skill!
Glow in the dark Jesus..Grandma had one, I found it hilarious
The end to this is how it stops...Something on tv
I look in the mirror, oh no. It's me again...I heard that, and liked it
Richard Bacon...Is fooking gorgeous!
Oh look its a little bouncing china man. Called doing doing...My Dad about a chinese gymnast in the olympics
Curt Beercock, brother of Julie Smith...It was on the news
You can take ma salmon but you cannae take ma freedom...Karen said it in a Scottish accent, it was hilarious
Forgotten when I'm gone. But unforgettable while I'm here...Another great saying
Fish Street...Yeah I found it funny!
Townie Sammy twin...That was weird!
Everythings wrong. But it's alrite :)...Lyrics for a Goo Goo Dolls song, I like it :)
525...the page I had got up to in my book
The Cock Inn...A pub
Whats it when someone rings you? *I sing* Oh! A bit like dangerman then?...My mums skill
Grandmas views on McDonalds effect on the world: the children are getting too fat...I found it funny
Just imagne Grandma listening to Prodigy...I found this hilarious!
Adam Drury...Another fitty
5 letters. Begins with o, ends with e. orange? otter?...It was on brainteaser
hermish...On brainteaser
o mum i like paul. u wana go 2 pooles cavern?...Mum's going deaf
jemima puddleduck. is that donald ducks bird?...Someone behind me in the queue for the log flume said it, I found it hilarious
passionofthemullet.co.uk...it was written in the queue for Spinball Whizzer...check it out guys
nampak...It was written on a truck...LMAO!!!
becky mantin...A really fit weather person
jus bcuz im paranoid dnt mean that ppl ent folowing me...It was on 8 legged freaks, I like it!
is this from rock of school jess?...Dad's skill
under cozzum. under cover rozzer...Air had me in stitches!
damien rice cannonball...I love this song!
hes my running sheep...Tab...
were all giant turnips...Me...
look at it...its floppy...Peeg...
Yeah I had bov fro everythign to be perfect towards the end. Well that took ages, so until the fun next time whenI have to empty my phone from turd...toodlepipxxxxx
Monday, August 23, 2004
I'm back
Holiday was cool. Found giant mushrooms with Mark, thats all I have to say, well all I have time to. Pig wants the computer. I'll write all the funny moments another time. Toodlepipxxxxxxx
Thursday, August 05, 2004
Last day with internet :(
Well yeah the title says it all. I just felt like updating everything, but my site can wait until I get home. I was woken up to Billy ringing me...nice! He apolagised frlo teh way he talked to me last :. Came to Pig's, then we went to Bude to get my photos developed. They ended up cool, going Barnstaple tomorrow. I'm on such a natural high it's unusual! I;m finally happy! Well yeah, that's all so until next time...Toodlepip! Lol, I say that alot! Byexxxxxxx
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