We found love in a hopeless place

So I found love in a hopeless place. In Time, Cookstown, N. Ireland.

All night I had been trying to find some attention from a male, I was more and more disinterested when these said males told me they were 23 and 21.

Amongst the inhibition I even tried to kiss a geeky looking lad on the cheek, to no avail. Rejected by someone I wasn't even interested in, is this what life at almost 27 has got to?

I decided to retire to the dancefloor with the girls and dance to Beyonce instead, a dj caught my eye when he kept blowing the smoke machine. Gave him some disgusting drunk smiles and then I decided to approach him. He holds up his left hand to reveal a ring on that fucking finger. Retire to the smoking area this time.

And it's here I found Erin anchored to men. Actual men. I immediately took a liking to one, my line of 'you're so handsome' seemed to work. I can't remember what was said but I definitely liked him. Even more so when he kept saying "I think I love you". My jigsaw puzzle was complete when I guessed his age of 30 something correctly.

He asked for a kiss so I excitingly obliged. Finally. After, I continued the 'you're so handsome' routine. He really was though; the most stereotypical Irish lad. The greenest eyes in the world, rough stubble and the most perfect teeth. And you could tell by the way he was that they hadn't been touched by any products.

He took me by the hand and we went back inside, occasionally stopping for kisses (I am extremely romantic when intoxicated, and even more spontaneous) he then offered to buy me a drink. And that's where the magic started;

"Can I buy you a drink?"

"Yeah of course, I'll have an Amaretto and lemonade please"

"I want to buy you a drink"

"Yeah I'll have an Amaretto and lemonade"

"Do you want a drink?"

"Yeah I'll have an Amaretto and lemonade"

"I want to buy you a drink"

"Yeah, the drink I want is an Amaretto and lemonade"

"Tell you what, give me the money and I'll order it"

"But I want to buy you a drink"

"Yeah, you can pay, I'll order it"

"What do you want to drink?"

"Give me the money and I'll order it"

I feel for his wallet which he takes as a romantic gesture but I soon find it, take a £10 note out and I get to the bar, pleased with how far we have come.

"Tell me what you want and I'll order it"

"Bdjjdjdjkwjshdjjd"

"What?"

"Hejejjendjdieihee"

"I don't know what you're saying"

"Jdkdkdndkjdndnd"

"I don't know what you're saying"

"Nejjdjdjfhbrr"

"I really don't know what you're saying"

"A Corrs Light"

"Oh thank god"

And then we get the drinks, he tells me how he delivers mushrooms to Dungannon sometimes and then we danced to Little Lion Man whilst the lights came on.

He invited me back to his mates party where there was cocaine, I probably said something along the lines of no thanks, you're all I want etc.

We then went outside and I played around with the idea until Jess of Sunday popped up and remembered she was in the arseend of nowhere and had to fly back to Manchester the next day.

So there were more kisses and more 'you're so handsomes' (really went well) and then our lift parked up. I told him to text me the next day for food and we talked about marriage. I eventually managed to let go of him and then our lift took us to McDonalds where I urinated in public and Erin fell off the table whilst attempting to dance on it.

Since my return home, our correspondence has gone really well. He told me about how he delivers mushrooms to Dungannon sometimes and that he thinks he's in love with me.

We're now friends on Facebook and I have come to the conclusion his handsomeness is my drunken appreciation of how familiar he looks like my friends husband. But more rugged, green eyed and perfected teethed (?).

Actually look at how I'm looking at him. Our wedding toast will be an Amaretto and lemonade.

Lonely water, won't you let us wander

This is the longest time I've been single, since I was 18 I've basically been in one relationship to the next, from serious to fling, to one night stands which happened four times; there's always been something.

I haven't been with anyone for over a year, (don't think I've ever mentioned that) and I mean literally with no one. Barely even flirted, well that's a lie but there is never an intention of it going anywhere other than occasional attention. And do I hate it? 80% of the time not, actually.

I do what I went, when I want, I'm not at home anymore and I do enjoy not having anyone to answer to. The lack of control has lead to some really crazy moments, some of the best. But that 20% hits home when I have no one to share the stories with. Why is it you always focus on the parts you're not happy with? Even if it is crazily small in comparison.

So here it is, a list of things which makes me consider sharing my bed again; the parts a single girl misses. My favourite memories of love.

1. Recognising the boy from, (no idea - 200 metres?) amongst the chaos just by the way his head sways from side to side. Face has no other way to react other than having the hugest grin and constantly blushing, for both counterparts, until you are within arms length and have that precious kiss

2. Having a boy remember every single word you say

3. Meeting them late at night and your conversations running well into 3am because you have no concept of time

4. Bullshit pet names you started to be funny and ended up being genuine; Pat was my babes, Chaz my angel, and Iain my hun

5. Putting the cold feet amongst the warm legs and snuggling into his back. Wake up with his arms around you. Sometimes you wake up to him saying "fucking let go of me, you're sweating". Another favourite of mine was when he woke me up to turn me around because my breath was so bad

6. Rubbing ointment into the asshole because it was so irritated. True love. Haha ointment...

7. Driving from Cornwall to Chester every other weekend to spend just 48 hours together. In the shittest Citroen AX

8. Having tv shows you both have an interest in which enables the snuggles. Netflix and chill? All my relationships have been based on that...I would like to thank Curb Your Enthusiasm, Four Rooms and Geordie Shore

9. Kissing whilst smiling. No drunken kiss with a "20" (he was 18) year old lad, or a 40 year old lesbian, even comes close to one that is familiar and heartfelt

10. Having a crazy moment of dancing and screaming weird noises and them joining in

11. Popping into your work because they couldn't wait for you to finish and come home to see you. I assume

12. Requesting Chiquitita at a dj controlled party. The dance floor basically clearing, but not even noticing because they are there. Dancing to Abba.

13. Someone saying they love you

So, you know. I've had a good time.