Gonna write a song so she can see, give her all the love she gives to me

She's not anyone.

But I am. Oh I certainly am. I am an organised one, a disciplined one. I set myself targets and I get these targets done when they're needed to. I also plan ahead, for things that don't necessarily matter at the moment. And because of this, I believe my third year will be a breeze.

I'll get the 4000 word essay draft completed tonight, along with the Shorthand practice cd. Then Monday - Friday I will finish my dissertation draft. Hand them all in, party like a slut on my birthday and then get back to work. From 9th February onwards, I shall work on my Corporate Design stuff, keeping in mind the ideas for my magazine for Journalism.

All I'm gonna have to do is juggle between two things I believe will roll smoothly once I get deep into them, and I'm not too far away from that at all.

It's all my brain ever thinks about. I go to bed at 2, look at the time at 3 after thinking of all the greatest things to do. I'm losing sleep over this, and weight. Bargain.

It's been a while...

During the busiest lifestyle ever, I have still found the time to come to uni, go to the seminar which may not be so important as the deadline has just passed, but will the lecturer be there to take the seminar?

Oh no, of course not. Wouldn't want little Jessy ACTUALLY being on track with her uni work. We'll just hinder her ;) They are cheeky little toerags. Pretty annoying toerags at that. I would have gone straight home, but I've got to pick up my little man with some of him missing...

I certainly hope he doesn't hate me after. Or die for that matter. I've missed him a lot today, my heart will break if he doesn't return home with me. Although lovely Jo hasn't rung to say he's bad so everything will be just fiiiine.

And everything in my life will be fine if I get my festering work done to the to do lists that I prepare myself almost every single day! Jeez Louise, if I was anymore organised I would be a poop mouth coming out of your mouth. Of the organised kind.

Seriously though, I've got to sort myself out, just a couple more months of this annoying lifestyle and then I can do whatever I want when I want. Well, not really, but it'll probably be a little more flexible.

A party and a holiday are in view. But they won't happen if I don't get this done sweethearts! Oh yes they will, I'll just tell myself that to keep me motivated. 21? Bring it on.

I've got a week to do all the hard stuff, and after that it'll be like recycling the last two years. Actually can't wait for all this to be over. I'm ready to decorate my house, prepare meals and breed rabbits.

I still think of you on cold winter mornings, darling they'll still remind me of when we were at school

So, back on track, with another limb.

Another limb with four limbs :) The four limbs are causing great harm to my body, but who doesn't want to constantly get new scars?

I am on track, fresh eyed and bushy tailed. Well, not so bushy but at least more sociable. I am determined to get through the final chapter of studying with mostly ease and thorough organisation. I know I'm going to be fine; I won't let myself not!

Not only that, I have been reading novels. Oh how I loved it. All run out though, White Oleander is such a good book. I initially found the poeticness of it all a bit daunting, but that's the beauty of it. And Ray and Claire. The film had the worst perception of it ever, was so bummed out.

So, with my mind's appetite well and truly filled, it brings attention to my body.

I am the exact measurements of Lily now. Not really, but there is a two mile trek everyday, sometimes it's even four miles. I'm eating better now too, my first Chilli Con Carne went down a treat, and I certainly appreciated the fibre of the red kidney beans it seems...

Just need to tone up, write, and stay on top of the finances. For the last year ever! Well...

And if all else fails and the ship won't set sail...

So recently, I have started to find women just a little bit more pretty than men. I'm not a batty, no, but I seem to like looking at pictures of models, female ones. They are so much prettier and thinner than me. And for once in my life, I'm actually bummed out about it.


And here's the culprit, Little Miss Lily Aldridge. What a perfectly pretty slut she is. With my most desirable of celebrity boyfriends. Her bust is 33 inches, as is mine. Her waist is 23 inches, which matched the width of my big toe and who cares what her bum bum is, it's gonna be a lot smarter than mine.

The stories are all true, this kind of stuff does make people want to be like them. I'm off to burn a calorie or two.

I'll squeeze into heaven

So much has changed. Got a taste of a life alone, and it wasn't too bad at all. But I went back to the old life anyway, and it's still fun.

Acceptance for growing up has finally been granted. I want a baby skater boy, not for a few years yet but it's still something I can get all excited about if there's nothing else.

Heading back for the final page of that chapter in my life. I've got high hopes for it, not necessarily wanting it to end, will just have to see how it goes.

Excited about life. Seen Caleb Followill three times in my life now, and still wanting it to be. I listen to R.E.M just so that I feel that little bit closer...

E-Bow The Letter

Ok, on we go...

I am so done with this, and I'm so done with that. I just want to get back so I can clean some more rooms, and to also have driving lessons.

But I'm gonna sort this career out first, and do it well. Life is good, and I'm alone.

Are you rea'y?

So I have nearly finished one thing, leaving me to finish just ONE thing more until I can fucking relax, well until good old Mr Brown helps me out. Thanks for that.

Just gotta do a few more drawings and a little writing and Design and Communication is officially done with, hit all the right spots and I'm feeling pretty confident. Not only will I pass my second year, but I will do so with flying colours.

You can plan a pretty picnic but you can't predict the weather.

Strains are holding out, I need that train home. I can't wait for it, eating pizza and halloumi after a nice sleep of roughly 14 hours for 3 weeks. Growing up certainly is hard, and I know I'm not the only one finding this.