Especially following December, when there’s three gatherings to choose from each weekend. I was watching a re run of 8 Out of 10 Cats Does Countdown earlier. On a Saturday night!
Everyone’s doing their healthy thing by signing up to the gym, going on a diet, participating in Dry January and it is absolutely wreaking havoc on my social plans. Was really hoping it wouldn’t, that’s why I maintained an interest in running throughout the year. And yet, here I am, unintentionally participating in Dry January.
Fair play to the healthy mates, but I am very much counting down the days to when their good intentions will come to an end. Roll on February; people can’t turn down a night out if it’s your birthday.
I am lonely. Way too social and attention seeking for my own good, but I am really feeling it this year. I’m missing having a companion.
I am so fed up of waking up to no messages on my phone. Of going to work, with the only conversation I have on my lunch break being with the pension provider who fucked my transfer up (happened in May, STILL having to deal with it on a weekly basis).
I’ll come home, bed at 10pm, stay up until 1am though, thinking about nothing. Wake up tired and do it all again. It’s absolutely killing me not sharing my thoughts! It’s absolutely killing me that no one seems to care about my thoughts (attention seeking and dramatic). I think I rang my mum and dad every evening last week.
All (all) I want is to find someone who could never be a host of a boring night. Just want something new to think about. I am so pissed off that I still can’t listen to songs that have been loved for years because they’re the soundtrack to my memories with someone who decided they didn’t want to be with me. Six months ago.
I knew it’d be like this though, was like it last year too. With my resolutions for 2018, I wanted specifics to prevent this; accomplish things each week and each month.
My favourite out of the monthly targets is to spend a whole day listening to music; both old favourites and then onto Radio 6 when I’ve had enough of the familiar. I also want to make sure I write just something, always have so many ideas in my head. 2018 is the year I stick to my plans.
So, have I managed it for this first month? With all this free time? It’s on the 28th day now. Of course not, I’m unexpectedly moving out.
I did want the first thing I wrote to be my playlist of 2017, but you know, too much time spent on packing the old clothes up, so this is my make do...
Everyone prefers a big depressing moan to something inspiring don’t they?
Like I said, roll on February.