I was a champion roller skater

Nothing has changed recently, only my attitude. I've had the same friends since I was 11, when we left school we were with each other every weekend, during university years we saw each other in the holidays, and, since then, every Thursday evening we take the time out of our busy schedules, shit relationships and depressing lifestyles to get together and just laugh about it.

It's taken me over ten years to realise this, but they really are my support, the best part of my life! I can be anywhere with them, things may not have gone to plan, but we will still make the best of the situation and just have fun.

This is definitely inspired by a Sex and the City episode (which of my posts aren't? Really!) but they are my soul mates. I can be in the foulest of moods, dare I say it? Suicidal (I am exaggerating greatly) but, plonk me in a room with them, and we'll be laughing about what way to jump off a cliff.

I really hope everyone else has such a great friendship group too, because it is definitely needed! Everyone needs to know that relationships are not the be all and end all. I love Chaz to pieces, but nothing is more assuring than knowing you'll be just fine after your twathole man has cheated on you. With your best friend. Twice. It's gonna happen! (I'm praying it doesn't).

It's nice to know that they will run away with you when you want. It's nice to have a thought and then them saying "I know" and it's nice to have a happy and silly thought which you can text at a stupid time and you know you'll get a reply of "haha yes!!".

I am always so self deprecating, but no matter how shit I am, my friends really are anything but. Jesus, I actually love them. Roll on the next 90 years.




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Location:Fore Street,Stratton,United Kingdom

Money is the anthem of success

Please, please say this is the ending. I don't know whether I could make the other ending happen .


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You can't normalise. Don't it make you feel alive

Life has been full and full of sorting recently; sorting through relationships, memories, food and just stuff! Of course there are the few bits and pieces which I thought I would benefit from if I kept, but I've been ruthless from a completely selfish point of view, so I chucked them. Maybe some of it I shouldn't have disposed of, but that's my bed to snooze in. Plus I never would have worn that top.

Decluttering is at it's peak since I moved out from home, I simply have too much stuff! I have to ask my loved one to give up what three drawers he actally does have so I have room for all seven million of my bikinis. Absolutely ridiculous. I've also been dabbling in the world of Ebay, trying to let go of some DVDs which weren't sitting too comfortably on my brimming white bookcase. And boy is it exciting! One bid, 12 watchers and still three days to go. Wish me luck, so that I can treat my sister's on their birthdays as well as do what is on my financial to do list, so I can fucking relax a bit more.

From all this work, my insecurities, I think, are just about gone. If there is one thing I've learnt from my friends, I may not have the legs or tits they quite want; but my eyelashes are quite sought after it seems. Could be worse. I feel I'm ready to forget about all the silly irrational things that sent my mind mental, by writing the names of the people I'm insanely jealous of onto a piece of paper and letting them blow far out into the wind. Out of my mind.

Note I'm not burning them quite yet...might want to come back to them still. Oh Jess, you really are bloody mental. Oh well, swings and roundabouts you know hun? At least, with the friends I actually have left, and the new ones I have made, I can have a good old laugh about bullshit situations. Yippedy skiibop.

Once this bid is done with, and this fucking overdraft is reduced dramatically, I will chill out. I'll relax. I really need to.

Cue lovely holiday. Oh wait, NO MONEY. It's alright Jess, at least you have a car.

30 - 40

The ultimate, "I'll sleep when I die" attitude. Alas, it is finally gone, debts won't bladdy pay themselves (as it's taken me two years to work out). I'll just pop upstairs and watch it alone, which is a very scary thought, whilst the future mother-in-law continues watching tennis. I've tried understanding the scoring system but it is simply ridiculous. Oh well, pain is beauty and all that...



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Keep your head up, keep your heart strong

Another new year and with it comes the resolutions. However, due to my impressive acts over the last year, giving up smoking is not one of them. Neither is cutting loose the people who I felt made me feel bad about myself. As much of a cliche it is, you do only live once, so why have people around that make you feel bad about things that you honestly don't think was that bad in the first place? The feelings mutal, I'm not on my high horse or anything.

To say I've struggled without three people, who, this time last year, I considered to be the most important, is an understatement. But good things come to those who wait. Grass is always greener. You snooze, you lose.

The year ahead should, in theory, be happier and stress free, healthier and (hopefully) financially improved. Beautiful men are where it's at, that's where it's always been. Beautiful Charles.

Who would have thought I would not be a utilitarian? It's hard.

But another thing that isn't hard (or has to be done) is lose weight. Thank you, my wonderful Mexican holiday, not only did it open my eyes to the world, experience different cultures and allowed me to rub the tummy of a dolphin, bit is also provided food which had me on the toilet a million times a day, emptying everything single morsel in there, and making me have a body like a slightly over sized model which seems to have stayed that way since... God bless, and happy new year!