Honey It's been a long time coming And I can't stop now Such a long time running And I can't stop now Do you hear my heart beating? Can you hear the sound? Cos I can't help thinking And I don't look down... And then I looked up at the sun and I could see Oh the way that gravity turns for you and me And then I looked up at the sky and saw the sun And the way that gravity pulls on everyone On everyone...Baby its been a long time waiting Such a long long time And I can't stop smiling No I can't stop now Do you hear my heart beating? Oh can you hear that sound? Cos I can't help crying And I won't look down... And then I looked up at the sun and I could see Oh the way that gravity turns on you and me And then I looked up at the sun and saw the sky And the way that gravity pulls on you and I On you and I
Yesterday was horrible, I spent the entire day by myself (thanks for that, friends) without nicotine. It's now been over 24 hours since my last cigarette. I'm ok now, last night I got hot and started to panic. But it was ok, I was just stressed.
I had two good conversations last night. One was with Brian, who appears to be my new best friend from HotorNot. He's great and I feel we can talk about anything. It's so cool. He just generally makes me feel good about myself. And another one was with this random guy from Nexopia. But it was so nice. I love conversations with new people because you don't knwo what to expect, or what you'll find out.
It is now 10:56 am, I'm going to ring Pig and see if he'll see me, along with Tab and Nips. I hate being alone.
It's what I fear most.
I started reading the stuff between me and Alex again
Sunday, October 31, 2004
Wednesday, October 27, 2004
I'm bored :(
Not just today, life. I mean I do nothing...and so...yeah. I'm left on this festering computer signing up to everything just in order to relieve boredom, I should be out living my life but all I can think about is Alex. Yes it's fetsering him again. Last night I text him, the first time in 2 months. I recieved nothing back. I had someone ring me this morning on a withheld number, they hung up as soon as I said hello, but it wouldn't of been him anayway...that would be something for me to be happy about...no way would it happen.
Well if you wanted honesty, that's all you had to say.
I never want to let you down or have you go, it's better off this way.
For all the dirty looks, the photographs your boyfriend took,
Remember when you broke your foot from jumping out the second floor?
I'm not okay.
I'm not okay.
I'm not okay.
You wear me out.
What will it take to show you that it's not the life it seems?
(I'm not okay)
I told you time and time again you sing the words but don't know what they mean
(I'm not okay)
So be a joke and look, another line without a hook
I held you close as we both shook for the last time take a good hard look!
I'm not okay.
I'm not okay.
I'm not okay.
You wear me out.
Forget about the dirty looks
The photographs your boyfriend took?
You said you read me like a book, but the pages are all torn and frayed
I'm okay.
I'm okay!
I'm okay, now
(I'm okay, now)
But you really need to listen to me
Because I'm telling you the truth
I mean this, I'm okay!
(Trust Me)
I'm not okay
I'm not okay
Well, I'm not okay
I'm not o-f***ing-kay
I'm not okay
I'm not okay
(Okay)
Toodlepip x
Well if you wanted honesty, that's all you had to say.
I never want to let you down or have you go, it's better off this way.
For all the dirty looks, the photographs your boyfriend took,
Remember when you broke your foot from jumping out the second floor?
I'm not okay.
I'm not okay.
I'm not okay.
You wear me out.
What will it take to show you that it's not the life it seems?
(I'm not okay)
I told you time and time again you sing the words but don't know what they mean
(I'm not okay)
So be a joke and look, another line without a hook
I held you close as we both shook for the last time take a good hard look!
I'm not okay.
I'm not okay.
I'm not okay.
You wear me out.
Forget about the dirty looks
The photographs your boyfriend took?
You said you read me like a book, but the pages are all torn and frayed
I'm okay.
I'm okay!
I'm okay, now
(I'm okay, now)
But you really need to listen to me
Because I'm telling you the truth
I mean this, I'm okay!
(Trust Me)
I'm not okay
I'm not okay
Well, I'm not okay
I'm not o-f***ing-kay
I'm not okay
I'm not okay
(Okay)
Toodlepip x
Tuesday, October 12, 2004
Well it's got so boring now...
Nearly a year of blogging, and yet life just seems to get shitter and more boring than ever before, is this what it is like when you grow up? Damn I wanna be younger again...
Well I'll put on here some of the funny things I have saved on my phone:
Your living in a dream Jess...the problems have only just started...I swaer I've already wrote that...but it's still on my phone! Originally from Hollyoaks, but I changed the name to mine because I have recently discovered that I am Jess Sturt, and I have the wonderful talent of not knowing the difference from dreams to reality...
Slimey jelly dino...Air said it when I was dreaming, it seemed so funny at the time...
5 th asil air 26th feb bo...I was writing down Air and Bo's birthdays, and ofcourse I was dreaming at the time
18th oct mon...There's Mon's birthday!
im tired of feeling nothing goodbye...Lyrics from Black and Blue - Counting Crows
l640dry...Ok I look so much like a prowler now! A "mates" car registration
tellow wellow bears...Tab said it when she was dreaming. She was supposed to say Yellow jelly bears. It was funny.
friday january 29th 2044 54 years old...That's the day I'm gonna die folks, according to the internet.
jimmy eat wnrld pain...A song I heard on the radio on the way back home in Frankie's car, again I was dreaming.
gravity...A new song out at the moment, I love it! But I don't know who sings it, so if you know who then please leave a comment :)
paki that sounds like mon n retard that walks like da...At college you can see anything.
i love you, y not?...Me and Air, I was yet again dreaming and found this hilarious.
can u roll a joint, spliff?...I called Nips "Spliff", and yes, I had been dreaming.
pressqpe on the r6of...I'll leave you to figure that one out...
tom n julie were on the weakest link...Self explanatory I think.
geting wiv angy n se lesson wiv farsapq...The last word was supposed to say Farrar...it was my dream ( I write them down, not obsessed!)
heroin. cuxx we all need heroin. addibts need hesoin...I was dreaming and this was a discussion between Tab and Nips.
me kucy michaela m crorrin getin pisd on the beach. storm brewing up, michaela going skitz...Another dream of mine
The stupid fings pigs done whilst he was pissed...such as: Biting Darren Clayton's leg, Asking a bird to pull him again if he bought her a pint and falling into a bush "mid piss"
Mid piss...I found this word entertaining when I was dreaming, it's weird if you say it a couple of times...
embasred bout fone shouting 2 lettie...Something that happened a while back, I wanted to think of it when I was sober.
Pardon me it wasnt me it was you...I was so proud of myself when I made that up! (Again I had been dreaming)
Rhian Benson - Say how I feel remix...A song I liked
Well that's my draft box empty. Plans for the next couple of weeks:
Well I'll put on here some of the funny things I have saved on my phone:
Your living in a dream Jess...the problems have only just started...I swaer I've already wrote that...but it's still on my phone! Originally from Hollyoaks, but I changed the name to mine because I have recently discovered that I am Jess Sturt, and I have the wonderful talent of not knowing the difference from dreams to reality...
Slimey jelly dino...Air said it when I was dreaming, it seemed so funny at the time...
5 th asil air 26th feb bo...I was writing down Air and Bo's birthdays, and ofcourse I was dreaming at the time
18th oct mon...There's Mon's birthday!
im tired of feeling nothing goodbye...Lyrics from Black and Blue - Counting Crows
l640dry...Ok I look so much like a prowler now! A "mates" car registration
tellow wellow bears...Tab said it when she was dreaming. She was supposed to say Yellow jelly bears. It was funny.
friday january 29th 2044 54 years old...That's the day I'm gonna die folks, according to the internet.
jimmy eat wnrld pain...A song I heard on the radio on the way back home in Frankie's car, again I was dreaming.
gravity...A new song out at the moment, I love it! But I don't know who sings it, so if you know who then please leave a comment :)
paki that sounds like mon n retard that walks like da...At college you can see anything.
i love you, y not?...Me and Air, I was yet again dreaming and found this hilarious.
can u roll a joint, spliff?...I called Nips "Spliff", and yes, I had been dreaming.
pressqpe on the r6of...I'll leave you to figure that one out...
tom n julie were on the weakest link...Self explanatory I think.
geting wiv angy n se lesson wiv farsapq...The last word was supposed to say Farrar...it was my dream ( I write them down, not obsessed!)
heroin. cuxx we all need heroin. addibts need hesoin...I was dreaming and this was a discussion between Tab and Nips.
me kucy michaela m crorrin getin pisd on the beach. storm brewing up, michaela going skitz...Another dream of mine
The stupid fings pigs done whilst he was pissed...such as: Biting Darren Clayton's leg, Asking a bird to pull him again if he bought her a pint and falling into a bush "mid piss"
Mid piss...I found this word entertaining when I was dreaming, it's weird if you say it a couple of times...
embasred bout fone shouting 2 lettie...Something that happened a while back, I wanted to think of it when I was sober.
Pardon me it wasnt me it was you...I was so proud of myself when I made that up! (Again I had been dreaming)
Rhian Benson - Say how I feel remix...A song I liked
Well that's my draft box empty. Plans for the next couple of weeks:
- Make a film
- Get a boyfriend
- Get a job
- Spend as much time with friends as possible
- Get over Alex
Saturday, October 02, 2004
It's been a good day :)
Wow! Nearly a year of blogging, and it gets so much worse with every post I write...
Today was good, was woken up by my cockatiel saying: Birdy, birdy, birdy...Ooh! My legs bleeding, I'll just get some tissue...or not, it'll be alright on the chair.
Well yes, I woke up, had a laugh with Tabby about tranny's, owning Bernard's Watch (care for your hair "Lena"...). It was good, then we got a lift to Pig's, watched Dawn Of The Dead then went out with Nips down the Bird Hut.
Me and Tab made the most amazing song! Probably because we were dreaming...but still it was cool. On the way home I noticed a rainbow, I was actually breath taken, I video recorded it. I've been thinking in depth about everyth8ing today and now I have a new picture in mind to draw...Well came home, masturbated for so long! Then now I'm on here. That will be enough for now...
Toodlepipxxx
Today was good, was woken up by my cockatiel saying: Birdy, birdy, birdy...Ooh! My legs bleeding, I'll just get some tissue...or not, it'll be alright on the chair.
Well yes, I woke up, had a laugh with Tabby about tranny's, owning Bernard's Watch (care for your hair "Lena"...). It was good, then we got a lift to Pig's, watched Dawn Of The Dead then went out with Nips down the Bird Hut.
Me and Tab made the most amazing song! Probably because we were dreaming...but still it was cool. On the way home I noticed a rainbow, I was actually breath taken, I video recorded it. I've been thinking in depth about everyth8ing today and now I have a new picture in mind to draw...Well came home, masturbated for so long! Then now I'm on here. That will be enough for now...
Toodlepipxxx
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