Friday, July 29, 2005

Diamonds Are Forever


Well, for some random reason last night I decided to stay up until 4:30a.m to write down all the songs I love.

I went through all the cds I own and wrote them all down...I now realise that it was a pointless thing to do, and that I have just wasted valuable sleeping time.

I'll be back in a sec, my MoMmI has just rang me to tell me she has my breakfast prepared...

Gah! I don't like big spoons.

I would like to thank Tabby, ALOT, for th above picture. I find it hilarious that Grieg is sniffing Pig's beercans. If you do not crack up at that picture, you are lame and dumb and no longer a friend of Pete's.

Whoever Pete is. Well, plans for today: I have no clue but it is a Friday so I should go out and get wrecked, but that clearly won't happen because it never does. Lame, lame JEss.

I'm off now, my "Fitnesse" is getting soggy, toodlepip

Thursday, July 28, 2005

When she wakes up in the morning she writes down all her dreams


I sooooooooo knew that Pete Doherty wanted me, he even sings about me in his songs.

I met him once, I remember that day so well. I met him from the Bus-stop. We decided to go for a walk along the canal and we just sat and chilled. It was great.

Shame it didn't really happen, and I'm so lame enough to get a picture from him, then put it in paint, then add a picture of me to it.

My face looks pretty screwed up and noseless, but that was because Tab's nose was in the way on the original picture.

Yes baby, I've kissed Tab. Well yeah, I'm listening to Iris and I bet all y'all are jealous, like incredbily jealous things that are now downloading it. God Hopai is typing to me again. I don't like talking to you alot :(

I love all my contacts though, apart from the ones in the "Hate" column, but don't worry about that.

OOh. Kings Of Leon are playing now. I REALLY want to go to the Reading Festival it is so unfair that I'm not going with my boyfriend, you know him? Yeah that's right...Caleb Followill.

Well yeah, this is a shit post full of lies. Lies.


I like to lie, but I also like to shower and have a social life, so I shall do that. Thank you for reading all you horny men :)

Jess x

Wednesday, July 27, 2005

Don't even do that, I know why you're crying


Well yesterday was cool, went to Pig's and was joined by everyone!

I don't think I've had so much socialising in one night before. Well yeah, went to Mon's, was dreaming a little. Nicky text me asking to go skittles with her and Moley, so they picked me up and off we went. We went to the pub first and I met her mum. Then we went to skittles then Will text them saying that he wasn't playing. Great. So they found this random man to fill in his space.

There was these three guys there that appealed to me.

Guy Number 1
He looked like my very first boyfriend, Duncan Pooltan. However, I wasn't pissed so I didn't get the chance to drunkedly walk over to him and ask if it actually was him or not.

Guy Number 2
He was with a really gorgeous bird. But really gorgeous himself. When you see two gorgeous people together you can't help but be jealous. God I'm lame, he didn't even make eye contact with me :(

Guy Number 3
Actual fitty. He had a tatoo on his forearm, I've decided I really like them. I jsut really wanted to jump on him and take him outside...like seriously. He had a mohikan which was kinda dyed...rawr, really sexy!

Well yeah, after skittles Jess rang me so I met her from work. Then we came back to mine and watched this really good film.

Then I got her to massage my back before I slept, fucking ace man!


Monday, July 25, 2005

It's a club girl, why did you arrive nekkid?


Well, today has been rather festering. But then again, when isn't a day of mine festering?



Last night Karen told me that Will has been telling people that I am "his bird" and that we're engaged. He also took my virginity when I went to Wales with him. If any of you hear this: IT IS NOT TRUE! I wouldn't touch Will with a barge pole and I hate him. Alot. So if you hear other people talking about it...sort them out aswell. I don't want things like that being said.

Bleugh.

Anyway, me and Tab went into Bude, dropped my film off to be developed then went to the surf shop to "apply for a job" I actually said that to the girl...she must of thought I was a weirdo. Well yeah, she told us to come back with cv's.

So me and Tab walked up dog shit lane and were dreaming. We munched and drank then went back to collect the photos.


They turned out ok actually. Well yeah, I'm going to go now. The jaffa cakes have made me feel all icky.

Toodlepippo for now Hippomonsters x

Sunday, July 24, 2005

Which never forgots what I lost...

Is anyone actually going to wake Billy Joe Armstrong when September ends? I wonder what happens at that time of year...

I really like this song, it's kind of like the sad rock song which every one loves, aprt from teh hardcore rockers...if you get what I mean.

I want a picture here...


God we make such a good couple. I actually love her. I love Angelina Jolie. Just no one tell her...she'll think I'm a perverted weirdo who's in love with her and stalks her...which I don't.


Why did I even save that picture of me? Look at the state of my lips? They look all screwed up like a new borns baby asshole or something. Why am I even analysing a picture of myself? Shut up Jess and talk about Angelina's cleavage...

Today has been average, woke up and generally did nothing all day. Dad told me about a job I should apply for at a surfer place. I think it's where this "fitty" works, and plus I might get free surf clothes, which I could do with as I am currently a skint tramp :(

Well that's all. I've got an itchy ear. I haven't had nicotine today :) Maybe later...when this doesn't post and I get angry.

Thank you for a wonderful world. I am a bird you cannot change. I'm a bird.

Wednesday, July 20, 2005

Wales was fun, a shame about the company

Well, I was REALLY excited about going to Wales, because it would just be a huge piss up and be a great way to meet loads of new people.

So yeah, Will picked me up and we all cruised along to Wales, it was rather funny along the way, Will would go the different direction to what Moley had said, but we finally reached our destination.

We put the tent up, unpacked and stuff then went for some food...later we went for a cruise, then went to the beer tent for a while and I was just getting pissed off with Will. There was these thigs where you could text in and there was a big screen to show them all, and Will texted a message like "i love you jess sturt luv will x x x" and "you dont know how much you mean to me jess" and I was like...arg...for fat snakes!

Well he started throwing grass at me, I got pissed off, then we went back to the tent and we slept, I was freezing as the duvet kept being nicked off of me!

So yeah, I had finally got to sleep at around 3 after the music had all stopped and the friendly people behind us had stopped shouting "Aaron". God I wanted to kill whoever he was. So yeah, we got up about 6, was shouted out by the "Happy Camper Boys". They said "good morning, happy campers!" It was hilarious...then got changed and off to the Royal Welsh Show we went!

It was about a mile to walk, then when we got there we had to walk around everywhere. Saw lots of animals and collected lots of booklets filled with useless information. So yeah. There was this guy theren with glasses on, I looked behind me about 3 times to see him...we held eye contact a couple of times and then we smiled :) Shame I'll never see him again...

We got back to the tent, Nicki and I went to the toilet, where we had a laugh with one of the security guards due to the lack of toilet paper. It was hilarious when he said: "a man's gotta do what a man's gotta do".

Later I saw this security guard again, he walked past my tent and looked back at me, so I smiled, but he just stared at me whilst walking for ages, kinda giving me the look of "I'm going to be with you tonight". It was ace recieving something like that.

And then I thought that I would make friends with the red tent boys (Happy Campers). So first I just shouted to them
Me: Hey Boysie, are you Welsh?
James: Yeah, why?
Me: Just wondering
James: Are you?
Me: No
James: Where you from?
Me: Cornwall
*walks over*

So yeah, that's how I made friends with James, 17. Also with Daniel, 18, Hugh, 19 and Davan,18. They were really cool, Nicki, Jason and Will ended up coming over and chatting to them too.

All good things soon came to an end when Moley decided to continuously touch me...Nicki got pissed off and she went off to the tent with him. Will was busy talking to Davan, Hugh and Daniel so I was speaking to James.

James: I think Will fancies you
Me: You think? He's told me loves me
James: Oh, that would explain a lot
Me: Yeah, he pisses me off
James: Wanna make him jealous?
Me: How?
James: Come to the back of my tent with me, we won't do anything but I want to get to know you
*gives me chewing gum*
Me: Nah, I gotta keep him sweet, he's my only lift home and I'm scared he'll leave me here if I piss him off
James: If he does that I'll kick the shit outta him
and things continued on like that...

Then Nicki called me over to say that Moley had been sick, so I tried calling Will over but he was too obsessed with his new friends.

When the boys had gone, after James had stared at me around 16 times, Will was shouitng at Moley telling him to go out and stuff, and that he would feel better standing up and stuff. Just being a complete and utter japseye. Well yeah, Will ended up going out by himself, so me and Nicki helped Moley sober up by smoking all of Will's fags then we spent the rest of the night slagigng him off, sad I'm sure, but theraputic :)

Then we saw a shadow at the side of the tent...someone was trying to undo the zip so I screamed and then they walked off, it was Will's shadow. He had heard what we had said about him. He came back later claiming that it wasn't hikm, but his little friend...yeah Will...and...you have a chance with me?

So yeah, I REALLY didn't want to sleep so early so I sat outside and then I saw a skirted body in James's tent. He must of been the one who had pulled because the others weren't exactly stunning. At that point I just thought...I'll go to sleep then...and I did.

I managed to get to sleep alot easier today, and I wasn't as cold as I had a lot of the duvet. I woke up about half 5, changed my socks then went back to sleep. For an hour. Then I woke up, went down to the toilets, changed myself.

Went to the Royal show again, met up with Beanie and Urn this time. Will's older brothers. We watched them shear, it was what I would call boring, I almost fell asleep watching the shearing competetion...again...but Urn's friend, Jonesy, was rather fit...

We left the show and got back to out tent, Will, Nicki and Moley decided to go to sleep so I just sat there in my tent and festered for a really long time, then James and Daniel were at the tent so they came over, at that point Will woke up, then Moley and Nicki did so we went shopping.

I got a big bottle of Taboo and a bottle of Sidekick enough for 14 shots. I halved the bottle of Taboo with Nicki, after that I was feeling well pissed, my favourite security guard kept walking past and peering into the tent, God I wanted him! So yeah, it got to the stage of me singing, falling over in the tent and ringing up Tab telling her I love her.

I got dressed into my skirt, put my boots on and let my hair down, we were off to the tent.

I walked straight past James' tent, I wanted to play hard to get.

So yeah, we got there and we sat down, I asked Will if he would mind if I talked to the guys behind us, he said that they'll just think I'm a weirdo, so I thought: I'll prove you wrong you jealous twat.

So I went up to them, his name was Rod and he didn't think I was a weirdo, but he wasn't exactly the greatest person to have a conversation with...so I went on to the group of black security guards.

The tall one laughed at me, the one with long hair just wanted to know where I lived and the other talked to me about A-Levels and stuff like that...but he was a dude. They fucked off soon enough though.

Then me and Nicki went back to our tent for her to get changed into a skirt, I saw my Simon security guard so I gave him a little smile, God he was gorgeous. So yeah, we got back to the tent, whilst Nicki changed I had some more of my Sidekick, then when we lift we saw James and all crew. So I linked arms with James after being molested by al his friends. When it came to Nicki's turn she freaked out and told them all she was taken and engaged. They laughed at this and mocked her due to her age of 13. So, when we got back to the beer tent thingy we left them lot.

Nicki told Moley what had happened and started crying...I would of gone mad if he's done anything to them. Well yeah, Beanie and Urn needed our bracelets to get in for free, so me and Nicki had to take them off in the toilets then like, hug Will to give them to him.

After we had done that I started speaking to the security guys near the toilets, Reece and Simon were their names. Simon was gorgeous and spoke to me alot, Reece wasn't that talkative. I explained my situation to Simon about Will The Rapist Braund, and he gave him that name. I really wish I had got his number or something, he was great and entertained me. However, their boss came and shouted at them for talking to me...so I found Will and this was the time of Beanie and Urn to be coming in. So we saw them come in, followed them to the beer tent, and then socialised.

Urn and his friend Jonesy (the really fit 30 year old sheep shearer person) would not leave me alone. Urn was touching my legs and ass constantly and was asking for a shag. I said no. Obviously. I had Jonesy behind me just like, talking things into my ear...he soon gave up though. I went to the toilet with Nicki, where we opened a door with a guy in there...I don't know what he was doing but when he came out he warned me not to go in there...

So yeah, we walked back and Urn was doing something with his legs...I asked him what he was doing and he said that my sexy walk has seduced him or something...he then went on to ask me what music I like and that James Blunt is really sexual and makes people in the mood...

I then decided I wanted to go, I wanted to hang out with James for the last night. So yeah, I left, but they didn't give me another band as I had already got one before. So yeah...as I walked past Simon the security guard he wolf whistled at me, fucking cute!

I eventually got back to the tent, after all the shouting from men, I just got in, lied in and then realised that I had made a big mistake. I wouldn't be allowed back in and James wasn't back, so I was going to be alone.

So after more alocohol consumption, I went back there. Through the fence I was screaming Will's name, but he didn't see me. So I went back to the entrance, no one would let me in so I just kinda stayed there...and stared.

Then I just thought, Simon here I come. So I stayed with Simon from about 1 til 2'o clock, he was great to me. He said I didn't look 16 :) We talked about loads of things, but one time he asked me to move on again because of his boss, so I did then I started speaking to this other security guy who looked really, really happy, it was scary. I introduced myself then we laughed hysterically at a policeman (or heddlu, said like: hetherleigh) who had toilet roll attached to his shoe, my new friend said: "It would be funnier if it was hanging out his trousers"

At that point I waled back to Simon, then told him the little story. His mates came and one asked if I was his girlfriend...he said no pretty quickly...but I took no offence. Well about 5 men talked to me as they walked past me when everyone was coming out. Here's a list of what was said.

Bloke #1: Where have you been all my life?
Me: Cornwall?

Bloke #2: Where's your boyfriend?
Me: I don't have one
Bloke #2: What are you talking about? Where are you from?
Me: Cornwall
*kisses my hand*
Bloke #2: Are you having fun?
Me: Yes I am thanks
Bloke #2: Well I must go now, take care of yourself
*kisses my forhead, then attempts to kiss my lips*
Me: No
Bloke #2: Take care of yourself
*kisses my hand*
*walks off and falls over*
Me: You too...

Bloke #3: Fancy a ride?
Me:...no
Bloke #3: You like a bit of muscle

Simon: Oh the chat up lines people use today! Do they work on you?
Me: No...

And I was just thinking...just use a chat up line on me you fucking sexy man!!

Bloke #4: Isn't it cold to be wearing a skirt?
Me: Yes
Bloke #4: (Really aggresively) What?
Me: I said yes...
Bloke #4: Oh right...

And then I saw Will coming, so I told Simon and he told me to have a good night, and that he hoped Will wouldn't rape me. I shook his hand and that was when I realised I would never see my new best friend again, and I was unhappy about it :(

So I walked back with Will, Nicki and Moley, when we got back to the tent I really didn't want to sleep there, so I went down to James' tent and Rob was outside, I asked him if I could stay there with him, then all of them came back. Throughout the night, I was hanging out with:
James (looked like Alan Shearer)
Hugh
Davan (looked like Leon Pugh)
Daniel (looked like Richard Shearing)
Tom
David (looked like Kelvin Shadrick)
Aaron (looked Craig Skelly, but fitter)
Boysie (gave me fags)
Rob (annoyed the hell out of me)
Dewi ( was funny as fuck, and wrote on my breasts with eye liner)
Fitty( can't remember his name, but he hardly spoke)

So yeah, the night consisted of fighting with the guys next door, but nothing serious happened. When it started to rain I offered Aaron my jacket, and it was then when I found out that he was the one I wanted to kill a couple of nights before, Aaron then came sat by me and he gave me the jacket back and put his arm round me as I was shaking. I made him shake :)

Our conversation then went something like.
Aaron: Can you give me a kiss?
Me: No
Aaron: Why?
Me: I'm gay
Aaron: Sweet! That's something I would like to see

A couple of mintues later...

Me: I'm not really gay
Aaron: Well I think you're gorgeous
Me: I think you're stunning
Aaron: Well, why can't I have a kiss then?
Me: I just can't
*I kiss his cheek*
I said no because I was told earlier by James that he wanted me, and I had been flirting with James for the last couple of days so I thought it would be rude to just get with his mate...

Then we all decided to get in the tent so in the back there was Rob, Hugh, James, Me, Dewi and Davan. In the front porch bit there was Daniel and Aaron.

So yeah, we stayed up all night talking about absolutely everything, I kissed all of the guys on the cheek... and yes I did get with James and it wasn't exactly the most delightful thing in the world...I wish that I had just got with Aaron, he probably wouldn't of licked my face and stuff.

So yeah, it got to about 5 in the morning and Rob had gone back to his own tent, Davan and Aaron were asleep and James wouldn't stop touching me. Dewi made me laugh so much, he really was a great person. I wish that I had gone to sleep as when it got to about 6 everyone else was, and it was just me and Daniel left awake and as I was now sober, there was nothing I could do to start conversation. Aaron soon woke up, and then Dewi but they were talking in Welsh and I didn't have a clue what they were going on about. I hated it.

I was just waiting for someone from my tent to wake up so I could go back there. I had a little laugh with the guys in the morning, but it really felt like I shouldn't of been there, I think they wanted me to go...so yeah, when I saw Moley go into the toilets I kinda said...bye! Then rushed back to the tent.

Urn was there, so I had to quickly jump into Will's side of the tenet and I got changed, when I was pulling my trousers up Urn woke up, and then Will did. Urn said I was still pissed...I wasn't though. I then went down to the toilets, as I walked past James' tent I was just like: Hi! And they were being nice.

As I was waiting outside the toilet, Dewi, Aaron and Daniel walked past and they said: YOu can't even trust people like her. I think they were just saying it because I was standing ther...but meh...

So yeah, went to the toilet, came back and Urn was still chatting away to me, I was just like...whatever.

Will got in a shitty when I told him I got with James :D It was great. The kisses wasn't but you know what I mean... So yeah, we saw them walk past the tent a couple of times, Will said hello to them as they would always say hello back, but this time only Davan did.

So...Urn left, Beanie came up and started swaying, it was hilarious. Then we packed up and put our tent away and stuff and I really didn't wanna go, but I didn't show it. We then took all our things to the car , I didn't even get a chnace to say goodbye to James and the other firneds I had made.

And that was it, we were off, on the stretch of road that takes us to the main road I made eye contact with the security guard I would always see...for the last time.

On the way home I slept for most of it as I had no sleep the night before. I really wish I had got James' number or something because Hugh said he would bring them down to see me again. They were saying how we were Jesse and James from Pokemon, I really loved those guys, they were hilarious.

But, I am at home now, and there is going to be no way that I will see them again...unless they are there next year... :D

Thursday, July 14, 2005

I am not happy

I'm so hot and my skin is burning and my feet are in so much pain I just want to cut them off.

I'm pissed off at the world for ignoring me.

Why am I such a japs eye?

Die die die

Monday, July 11, 2005

Lisa it's your birthday, Happy Birthday to you

The title really reminds me of science lessons...good old Steph.

I really miss school, I really wanna go back...

Mr King no longer beeps at me when he drives past :( Does he know it's me? I bet he's just playing hard to get.

I have a sweaty moustache. This weather is annoying. Throughout the day it's so hot that it causes blisters to form on your feet, so you take the shoes off and then walk bear-footed, only to realise that the tarmac is so hot you have to dance across the road at a very fast speed just to make sure you still have feet when you reach the destination.

Then Pig wouldn't let me have my feet out, so he handed me a pair of socks, which later fused to the bloody blisters and stuck to all the rest of my sweaty feet.

Then...when you wanna go to sleep you have to throw your duvet to the ground as if you even touch it you will get so incredibly hot that you will die. You will. You open a window, but all you can hear is festering hedgehogs at a Hen Night. You can do nothing but stay up to 3 in the morning, then just drift off to sleep...dreaming of running through mud in a beautiful dress with your friends who you've grown up with.

I love you Lettie and Alana.

A very happy unbirthday to you...to you! I watched Alive in Wonderland the other week, I still know the majority of the words, and the walrus still scares the shit outta me.

I love the Kings Of Leon so much. CALEB FOLLI...shit...what's his last name again?

CALEB FOLLOHILL? I'll browse on google a second...

CALEB FOLLOWILL, I love thee...

Alot...

That's all folks

*wipes sweaty moustache*

Thursday, July 07, 2005

Next month. Completely shit.

Well, these last couple of days have been rather turd. It's been great being with Tab more, fucking hilarious infact, just things with Will are getting boring.

I wanna go out with some other people more, like Hairy and Jeremy, why do we always have to be with Moley and Nicki? I mean, yeah they are great, but it would just be better if we did something different for a change.

Good God, I found Billy Corgan on Myspace...and he's a friend :D

When I found out Jenn had found someone famous I felt the need to so the same...but I've won one over her as I'm his friend :) But I think he just says yes to anyone...oh well :)

Monica and Mark are coming down today, so I'm supposed to be tidying my room, but I've got bov. My tv won't work so I can't listen to "The Bucket" on repeat for 3 hours.

I was talking to Smay earlier on, through msn, and he mentioned how he had just ate a sandwich, so I told him how hungry I was. His mum then asked where I lived and stuff...10 mintues later and Smay's at my door with a cheese toastie.

Fucking ace.