You can hold her hand, and show her how you cry

Lots and lots of things have been sorted out. With my wages, I calculated the outgoings and took that away from the total, then set some money aside for this months essentials, such as petrol, deoderant, birthday presents and vet bills, and then I divided the rest into four weeks.

It feels good being in control of things. So in control, I have arranged a holiday of my own, flying to Mexico by myself and meeting a friend there. I haven't flown since I was two so it may be a bit daunting, but with most things I find myself underwhelmed so I imagine it'll be just fine. I imagined I would borrow 700 of the finest English pounds from my Papa, boosting the loan I have with all already by an extortionate amount, but that all changed today.

Mum told me of a surprise yesterday morning, saying that after work that evening I would find out what it was, it didn't happen that night, I presumed it would just be my old foster sister coming to visit, as I asked mum if it was a person, she said yes, but then said it wouldn't be family.

So this morning, I return home, and I ask dad if we can book the flights to Mexico, and he tells me to de research on the buses to and from the airport. So I rush upstairs, and then he calls me back downstairs as there is someone to see me. He gestures me to the back door and my next door neighbour is perched on his steps. I automatically become anxious, as the last time this happened, Dave had given me £1000. My heart starts racing as I see he holds an envelope behind his back. He hands it over, saying that he was offered a job in America and he turned it down and he regretted it, and then he hands me over an envelope, with "Jess, Mexico bound" on the front. I hug him and then tell him he is the greatest person in the world, along with roughly a million thank yous, and then I retreat back to the comfort of my own home to open it. Another cheque for £1000. I am officially the luckiest girl in the world. I really hope I deserve it. I hope he doesn't regret his decision and I make him proud.

Just some things in life you just can't believe.