I have got to that time in my life, like most twenty somethings, where pretty much all my friends, family, and acquaintances are really achieving that family they've always wanted. And this post is simply to enforce, that it is ok to maybe be 'behind' where we thought we may have been ten years ago. Not that most of us need this; we are more than content with the lives we have.
I would like to stress that this feeling has not been put on me by the friends who have their families, this is purely based on self assessment. I do not doubt decisions my friends have made, and I support them 100%. I am not envious, nor am I self congratulatory; I am just living my life like they are living theirs.
I went back to my home town for a break and the obligatory question of whether I have found a boyfriend (sometimes 'yet' - cheers) popped up in almost every conversation I had; I don't. And it's not really an issue for me at the moment. I might have a hen do that you guys can come along to, I might not. If I don't, I am sure we can still arrange some crazy weekends away. My life is not on pause remotely.
Sometimes I do think I'm slower at progressing than the rest of everyone; I am 26, I am still working in a job I've been doing since I graduated, but I am doing what I can to make it better. I moved to a city where there are jobs! And the jobs are within fields I am interested in, and I've made some great friends.
Sometimes my Facebook uploads of people's feet falling out of their shoes (LOL) may seem inadequate to the beautiful photos of the two little girls on their first family holiday in Tenerife, but it's all relative. I adore how those girls have grown into minis of my friends, but I went out at the weekend and my friend wasn't allowed back into a bar because of the state of her feet, it's still funny no matter how you look at it.
I have always suffered at the hands of the grass is always greener syndrome, but I'm now happy to announce that I am more than content at where I am right now, maybe more than I have ever been. If I am able to find a guy who doesn't turn me into a complete psycho the second I fall in love with them, then ideal. Baby? Bonus absolutely. But I will cross that bridge when I get to it, if I get to it. It's not a bridge I'm too focussed on. I just want a nice car, to laze around in my dressing gown until almost 3pm and sleep when I want, for however long. For the moment anyway.
Don't get me wrong, there are times I'm cruising in my less nice car (still great though) with the tunes up loud, thinking how good it would be to have a little person by my side having fun with me, but I don't think my brain could ever prepare for something like that. It would have to be a complete accident, where hopefully, if I continue living the life I am, I'll have a nice enough life to bring him into.
Reviewing this post, it does seem like an attack of the singles vs the families, which is completely contradictory to my intentions. There are just some people also in my position, that only focus on what they aren't doing as opposed to what they are. A girl was well on track to start her happy family, her partner cheats and her drive to leave him quivers due to the lack of wanting to start all over again. To be back to where she was two years ago. Luckily she's pulled herself together, I wish her all the strength in the world to see this as a blessing to meet more new people, learn new things and to use this time to better herself. It is not a step backward, it is a step into the unknown where she can do whatever she wants. And that is a good thing.
Life is all about timing; you can meet someone, marry someone, buy a house, start a family, expand that family. Sometimes the fun of going out and then coming back to a home you built with a friend, singing songs by Adele until 3 in the morning gets in the way of meeting someone. Completely selfish, but surely if you didn't have children when you did, what would you be doing right now? That's what I'm doing. All I want to do is sing with my friends...I'm kidding. But I have been dealt with a hand including a full time job, living in a great city, completely single, honest and loyal friends and there's a whole load of fun thrown in there.
The key thing in life is happiness, some may find it within a family, a partner, a career, travelling. Just need to keep that in mind instead of feeling unnecessary pressures. Love what you have; we are all right where we are supposed to be.
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