So it has inevitably arrived, the two year mark. And I think that it has hit me harder than ever before. It feels as though every single negative emotion you can possibly think of has filled my body and multiplied by a million. I can't stop crying, and I can't stop thinking. And I can't stop listening to McFly, apparantly.
Sometimes when I close my eyes, I just see myself looking at you from the landing, wincing and laughing at your gunged up eye and how you chased me around the house with it to make me cry. I think of how you could into my room when you wanted to dance or talk. I remember not doing what you asked and how you did everything I ever asked for.
I hate remembering, I don't want to remember anything. I just want to experience things with you now, and it's actually impossible. There's nothing I can do and there's nothing I can do to overcome this! Life is so unfair, and it seems as though I have only just come to realise this. I really fucking miss you Karen.
I always do.
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