I watch as a small, grey-haired woman appears at my doorway, carrying a little blond boy. I see her glance around my tiny home, her face winces and she says nothing, but I know it is because of the disapproval of the cigarette smell. As I make her tea consisting of milk, no sugar, I think about how this woman has managed to cope through the death of her daughter, to look after her grandson as if he was her own and to help set up a successful organisation. I look at her endearingly, after all that she had been through; she still had time to worry about my health.
She introduces me to her grandson, Jacob, as I pass her the tea. She examines it, almost as if I had not quite met her experienced standards. “I’ve only ever got drunk once, I hate the feeling of being out of control, I usually drink Schleur around Christmas, it manages to give me the same feeling of giddiness.” I smile at her as she takes a sip and smiles at me with reassurance that the tea was actually decent; I find the sweetness of this 52 year old woman remarkable.
Maria Sturt of Bude, Cornwall, brightens with pride as she tells me of her 33 year long marriage to David, an army man and the five daughters she had with him. She goes on to tell me of an organisation she helped set up due to the inspiration Jacob gave when he lost his mother at two years old. Jacob has Downs Syndrome.
Maria describes how The Little Rays of Sunshine Club was set up for children not only with Downs Syndrome, but for children with other disabilities too, in the early months of 2006, by herself and David in memory of their cherished daughter, Karen. The idea was conjured when a total of over £1,100 was raised for the Downs Syndrome Association at her funeral, when the family requested donations rather than flowers.
“Little Rays of Sunshine is a joy to me as friendships have been made, views exchanged. Children have become more confident causing life changing behaviour.”
I write down a list, which seems endless, of the events that have taken place, such as a sponsored abseil where around 30 people of all ages participated, a charity disco, a charity bingo game, a trip to Disneyland Paris for 49 children which took up a weekend, a charity rugby game, a fundraiser barbecue with all the trimmings and finally a Christmas party with the children in the special needs unit at the local school. The activities which are yet to take place are swimming with a surf instructor for 6 weeks and, finally, more sessions at the local school, allowing incorporation amongst the children within the two groups. These events have added up to the total of £3,300.
As I scribble down the quotes Maria seems to have repeated million times before, I look at her, and sure enough I can see it in her eyes, the ticking of appropriate boxes. “We would like to dedicate the Little Ray’s of Sunshine Club to honour Karen’s memory, while it was in losing her which proved to be the main channel for it’s induction, we believe that had she lived, she would have tried to do something similar herself.” It is at this point I find myself invasive, I look at her and she shrugs, but on her face is a suggestive, proud smile. So I continue.
So I asked about Karen, the pure smile was replaced with a face that I could never describe. A face of loss and remorse; a face I wish to never experience again. Karen was Maria’s third daughter, the only one of which to bless her and David with a grandchild. Karen was 19 when she gave birth to Jacob Isaac in 2003, the son who was the inspiration for the club.
“Karen was tragically killed in a road accident in November 2005, she’d recently past her test, and it hit the family hard. Especially with Jacob, she did everything she could for that boy and sometimes it just feels like what I do is somewhat inadequate in comparison.” I look again at Maria’s eyes, but this time I see no boxes eager to be ticked, no rehearsed answers. As her eyes reach my saddened gaze, she somehow manages to read my mind. She knew I wanted to know how she could even begin to carry on with life.
“Life means very little without God, prayers change what seems hopeless. God loves answering prayer. I couldn't have got through this horrible time without Him. Once you know Him you can’t live without Him. He means everything to me. I trust that He has got Karen safe and I know that if Karen was offered the way back she wouldn't want to come back as she has the best ever.”
“I still find it painful that Karen’s not here to see how Jacob is developing. She would be so proud of him. He used the potty twice for me in one day for the first time! I’m looking forward to when we meet up again.” And with that, I believe that all my boxes have been ticked.
As I say my goodbyes, I give Jacob a big kiss and a cuddle. Karen always said I’d be his favourite Aunty.
