Good love and protection.

This weekend has been mondane and normal.

Friday: Went round Mon's and remained sober (but nowI have kissed my first dick!)

Saturday: Went round Mon's, then went babysitting until 3 in the morning, hey! There's £30!

Sunday: Woke up late, went to Pig's and watched loads of films.

I should be having a bath tonight, although Jacob has decided to break the light switch, which means I've either got to wash in the dark or be romantic with myself by lighting some candles (thanks for the idea, Keirah)

I was thinking as I sat on the toiler earlier, how soft the toilet paper was, I think it's because I couldn't see, so because I was deprived of one...shit what's it called? Senses! Yes! Because I was deprived of having light sense, I felt more...

And that's the story of that folks!

Well yeah, school tomorrow...WOOHOO

Toodlepip x

Good Luck!

Today's been not so bad actually!

Woke up at what I thought was 8:15...but then I got ready, about 10 minutes later I looked at the clock again and it was 8:11...

So I think I better go see an optician

Walked to school, got there, no one else was there!

First lesson was science, it was quite fun, business was boring and i.t was alright.

After that I went down Lettie's and we played on Point Blank for ages :D Sooo addictive!

At 5 I got a lift to Safeway and walked home from there, I've just edited my site, check it out:

http://chickengal192.mysite.wanadoo-members.co.uk

Well yeah, I'm home now blaring my Basement Jaxx...

Toodlepip for now :D xxx

Never ask your tutor what they think of your breasts...

Today I was at college, it was boring as usual. I was just really excited about Tab coming. When she did I introduced her to all the retards in my class.

At 2:30 it was our interview, I had my personal interview with Rosemary, and as she already knew me she wasn't really sure whether I should be on the course or not, due to the title of this blog...

Yeah...I act in an inappropriate way...

But yeah, basically I've been accepted but if my behaviour goes shit, I won't be allowed on the course. I'm waiting for my interview date from the photography course that I wanna take, then I'll decide which one to do.

After, Tab's dad picked us up and embarrassed me so much! We went into Comet and her dad told all the stuff how I'd just came out the closet about being a lesbian, and that I have a hairy back, but I use the razor for other things...the conversation ended with him telling them that he was a transexual...

I'm now over Mon's with a banging headache. I'm completely bisotted (sp?) with Rob...damn...

Toodlepip for now x

P.S!!!

Mr King waved to me today <3

There was a random woman picking up dead bluebells :

And there was a boy on a bike who rode past me and did the crazy frog :D

Ooh oo

Well todays been quite good.

I woke up early, and was still thinking about the same person that I had been thinking about before I slept, and when I slept. I had a shower, it took me half an hour to do my hair :

Well yeah, walked to school ( I actually love walking by myself listening to music...I try to move to the beats...)

I got to school, did maths then went home :)

I came home and did all the booklet thingys, then had a laugh with Tab, met her, went to Bude and bought Basement Jaxx's album.

Went to Pig's, then got called home early because it's my sisters birthday today and I have to babysit...

Well I must leave now

Toodlepip xxx

Sing along and it might just get you through...

I actually love the song Pulp - Common People. The lyrics are so sarcastic!

This weekend has beens hit. Ooh, best bit of song <3

Friday; went to Mon's, walked home by myself

Staurday; fell out with Tab and Sam, went to the castle, saw Corrinpoo, Luc, Jade and Amy. Me, Pig, Joel, Paul, Craig, Anna and Rosie went to Bude Junior school, Craig went home then Joel and Paul went somewhere.

Me and Pig were left with the girls and it was really awkward and silent. The girls left, the boys came back, Pig randomly spewed, then we went to the beach to see Tab, Jess, Mon and Sam.

I tried my best to fix things...but Jess and Tab were being rude and sat on a bench which was probably the furthest away they could get from me. Sam was being sweet. I just wanted to break down into tears but no one understands what it's like for me.

They all think I'm a weirdo with fucked up mood swings who always takes it out on them, but I can't help it! All I needed was a hug and not to be by myself...

Well me and Tab went to Somerfield to get everyone a drink, then my alarm went off so I walked to Gina's to babysit.

I ended up spending the night in Joseph's bed watching Spongebob Squarepants, I was almost falling asleep, until he started to lie down and I thought; Gina comes in...I'm a paedophile.

So I left him to sleep and watched this thing on cosmetic surgery.

Gina came back around 2, with quite a fit guy! But hey....I just went out with MoMmI in her sexy glasses and went home.

I slept, today I went round Pig's and have had a really good day! I've been chatting to all my favourites, like Rob, Del and Perry.

I'm not just saying that because you're gonna read this Del :P

I'm gonna be an art student :D

I'm sooooo excited! Well yeah...I better go help Pig find a film to watch as he looks ever so bored and I've stolen his computer for so long now...

Toodlepip xxx

Anyone will do tonight

School was shit.

It always is.

Went to Lettie's we took photos.

Went to Pig's, Tab told me bad news and I'm pissed off so much right now.

Why are there people who get everything?

Rah...goodbye

You bleed just to know you're alive

Well...I'm at college after the waking up early, witnessing Corrin getting onto the bus with a faulty buspass and generally staring out the window.

Yesterday was quite fun actually. I thought that Corrin and I were gonna stay in, but we went out and met Amy. It was quite a laugh and there was many near-death experiences. We were walking to Spar so Amy could urinate when Steveo pulled up.

I have heard so much about this geezer, and now I had finally met him! I told him my name was Julie, I only lived on Tuesdays and that I fancied him.

We got on quite well :). Usually I can't get on with older guys as they have no sense of humour (damn you) but after the drawings of retarded elephants, fishes and platypusses (sorry for my stupidness spelling woo) I decided that he was actually hilarious, and he even joined in with some crazy hand dance.

Well yeah, we soon returned home and watched No Angels, quite good actually. When Corrin had gone to sleep, Danni and I watched this sex on the beach thing, and we've decided we want to go clubbing and get laid!

Yes, well I better leave now, got Health and Social Care stuff to do...

Love you Tab, Toodlepip xxx

School is so cool

Well back to school we go...

No I am not a fan of Dizzee's new track...

Today went fast actually, I've got over embarrassment over everything I guess, which is good as all my trousers reveal my underwear someway...todays pair: Big hole in the crotch area.

After me and Tab met Luke, Pj and Connor...it was er different; that is all I will say about that!

When I wasn't in the correct state of mind I started thinking...why do I greet people with hugs? Yes...I love being in a thoughtful mood, makes you think about things :P

It's 11:00 p.m and I'm ever so tired, had a coffee to wake me up this morning, gotta wake up earlier tomorrow aswell as I want to be early enough to meet Tab before she gets to school...no reason whatsoever :P...

Yeah I'm sooo not telling.

Gotta go toodlepip xxx

Aquarius

As Tab's dad is kinda physchic (can't spell) he has loads of books on Starsigns and stuff.

From these I have discovered that all Aquarians are:

Eccentric
Individual
Unpredictable
They wear bright clothes
They don't show affection
They take care of close friends

I'm am NOT any of the above, maybe I was adopted...and changed my birthday.

Over Mon's now, must continue grabbing his bollocks

Toodlepip for now xxx

I want a good girl...she want a gentleman

Ah...there's the sigh of good old bov.

Air stayed over mine Tuesday, it was his birthday and I would not accept the fact that he would spend it by himself, damn you and your shit friend skills Pig.

So...at around 10 we actually left to go to my house, when we got there he said hello to my sister Karen, she gave him two johnnies (we love that). We then started to watch 13 Ghosts...or is it 13th Ghost? Oh well...

He soon produced bov for that, so we ended up watching home videos of me and Tab, that soon got boring so we watched The Friday Night Project. It was the one when Pat Sharpe was the mystery celebrity in the sex scene. After that we just decided to watch Malcolm In The Middle.

We did this until 5 o'clock in the morning.

At 8, I was quite pleased to find myself awake...we watched Fireman Sam, but my eyes needed to be closed.

We then had small intervals of sleep, but finally managed to sleep until 12. When I woke up that time I turned over and shouted to Air: "You managed to sleep then"

He loved it.

I walked to Pig's...and then here comes back the mondane life.

But yeah, I spoke to an old contact (who had been deleted)...he kept interrupting my game of solitaire showdown (not a good idea) so I kept giving him shit. I then realised that it was the fitty from Faceparty.

So then I started playing with him, and it pissed me off because he didn't move one card "I don't know what to do".

Well the night came to an end, so I deserted him. It was a happy and fun filled conversation...

Why don't you buy it *cheesey pose*

I've had soooooo much fun doing my art coursework! I'm so sad! But hey...I do fuck all drawings because I'm doing a collage. Just loads of photos to stick, random things that make me up, lyrics are scribbled...it's just making a personal log book about what makes me tick ;)

Well. I'm going to wait for Pig to either return Tabby's call or jus come online...

Toodlepip

P.S Kanye West - Never Let Me Down (Number 8 on album)

I've got a bad feeling about this

I'm really pissed off about Jose.

(For Jenn, so she knows why)

We were like seeing eachother occassionally, he didn't come in one night...then suddenly he's got a new bird.
He says:

He still likes me (apparantly)
He won't cheat on her (I wouldn't of anyways)
He won't finish with her

So...that's really pissed me off. Guess I didn't think I liked him as much as I actually do...

Just another waste of a friendship now.

God... I really need to cry, otherwise poor old Tab will have to suffer with the consequences.

Why does everything I want have to be stopped?

Goodnight guys, I need a fag :(

I'm just trying to find a decent melody, a song that I can sing, my own company...

Last night we babysat on a Saturday night.We did it from 8:45pm until 1:30am. After, we started walking in the direction of my house, but then we decided to stayout a little longer.So we walked to the direction of the castle, looking for people. We didn't find anyone. We went to the canal and phoned almost everyone on my phone, just so that they would meet us. Our only response was from Nips, in Marhamchurch (a town roughly 2 miles away from Bude (where I live))So we decided to walk up there, we went the cycle path way...and I kinda led us to half way to Marhamchurch, then took a wrong turn and ended back in Bude...But anyway...in the end we got to Marhamchurch, after being chased by the people coming out of the pub, we finally made it to Freya's house at 3:15am, ready for the last joint.We went to sleep around 5:00am, woke up at 7:00am and started walking back to Bude at 7:30am...I slept...and then had to be woken up for a roast meal...I seriously think the cellulite on my legs has gone now...

Today, I am hoping to sleep through the majority of the day.

I found this:
Im single; I can comb my hair whenever I want says:
can i come up na?

I love you when you dance when you freestyle in trance so pure such an expression supposed former infatuation junkie. says:
what mine?

Im single; I can comb my hair whenever I want says:
no, sorry, i was talking to emporer caeser

Im single; I can comb my hair whenever I want says:
im goin his

I love you when you dance when you freestyle in trance so pure such an expression supposed former infatuation junkie. says:
oh pigs? I

Im single; I can comb my hair whenever I want says:
no, caesers

Im single; I can comb my hair whenever I want says:
( im making it up)

I love you when you dance when you freestyle in trance so pure such an expression supposed former infatuation junkie. says:
o

I love you when you dance when you freestyle in trance so pure such an expression supposed former infatuation junkie. says:
well im gonna stay in stabucks today

I love you when you dance when you freestyle in trance so pure such an expression supposed former infatuation junkie. says:
nobody likes niggers walking out of there own houses in the day time

I love you when you dance when you freestyle in trance so pure such an expression supposed former infatuation junkie. says:
i'll get beaten up

Im single; I can comb my hair whenever I want says:
i hate being a chink

I love you when you dance when you freestyle in trance so pure such an expression supposed former infatuation junkie. says:
lol y?

Im single; I can comb my hair whenever I want says:
because my eyes hurt when i squint

I love you when you dance when you freestyle in trance so pure such an expression supposed former infatuation junkie. says:
aww, well my nose is so big i can hardyl see, and my lips drag on the floor and bleed a lot of the time

Im single; I can comb my hair whenever I want says:
i have yellow skin

I love you when you dance when you freestyle in trance so pure such an expression supposed former infatuation junkie. says:
i have black skin. Its like ive been in an incinerator, maybe youve been poisoned

Im single; I can comb my hair whenever I want says:
no

Im single; I can comb my hair whenever I want says:
i also have jet black hair, and i can't speak english

I love you when you dance when you freestyle in trance so pure such an expression supposed former infatuation junkie. says:
is ur name Sadako?

Im single; I can comb my hair whenever I want says:
No...

Im single; I can comb my hair whenever I want says:
Haemaroid

I love you when you dance when you freestyle in trance so pure such an expression supposed former infatuation junkie. says:
Oh mine is Mama Kass Jnr.

I love you when you dance when you freestyle in trance so pure such an expression supposed former infatuation junkie. says:
Not really

I love you when you dance when you freestyle in trance so pure such an expression supposed former infatuation junkie. says:
its Yasmin

Im single; I can comb my hair whenever I want says:
Yasapak?

I love you when you dance when you freestyle in trance so pure such an expression supposed former infatuation junkie. says:
yeah

P.S I discovered last night that I can't sleep without my feet touching eachother

I would like some milk from the milkman's wife's tits...

I appeared to of experienced insomnia last night. It was due to watching The Ring and The Ring 2 a couple of nigths before. The thought of Samara climbing out of my television screen was petrifying.

I stayed on my computer until 2:30 a.m. I then went downstairs, pulled my sister's baby out of bed to be with me. He soon woke up and wouldn't go back to sleep, so I passed him to my sister at 3:00 a.m. I then turned on my friendly lamp, and read a chapter of "A Man Named Dave".

I went to sleep at around 4:oo a.m.

I was woken up at 7:00 a.m. by a text from Luke, 3 hours later, Gina text me. I'm babysitting tonight.

I had a bath with the door open, it was amazing as I listened to Def Leppard - When Love and Hate Collide. I made myself up and left without a care in the world...

I am now over Pig's, contemplating about my single life. Not much chatting going on...

Harry - New phone number is 07817195432 says:
nufin

Harry - New phone number is 07817195432 says:
goin for a shower in a min

Im single; I can comb my hair whenever I want says:
ive had a bath

Im single; I can comb my hair whenever I want says:
with the doors open

Harry - New phone number is 07817195432 says:
ok

I must now return to my mondane life, listening to The Killers and sharing experiences with people I have and probably never will meet in my life.

Toodlepip x

Conversations are great...

01/04/05
21:09:13
(R) Jess - I know what this song is about! (R)
I think that people use the word "blog" wrongly

01/04/05
21:09:27
(R) Jess - I know what this song is about! (R)
I think that was originally called "weblog"

01/04/05
21:09:27
www.alexpepper.org.uk/weblog.htm
you think?

01/04/05
21:09:41
(R) Jess - I know what this song is about! (R)
so people thought it was that... but it's clearly a "web-log"

01/04/05
21:10:05
www.alexpepper.org.uk/weblog.htm
yeah, and maybe blog is just alliteration of that

01/04/05
21:10:09
(R) Jess - I know what this song is about! (R)
Yes!

Today, after walking home, I experienced a completely new sense of pride. So I wrote it down:
When walking home, I felt a strange but familiar sound. It was the sound of my hair gently patting on my back. It was then that I realised that I had made something of myself.

Songs to download:

Smashing Pumpkins - Disarm
Akon And P Money- Keep On Calling

Fit guys on telly:

Suraj De Watts

Over and out.

Oh can't you see? You belong to me...

The Easter holidays have proved to be more realistic than what I would of hoped them to be.

Recently I have been having really vivid dreams, it's horrible as some are so scary...and some are just wierd because I thought the things that I had dreamt were what actually happened...and I would talk to people about it...yeah...

Through these dreams I've discovered what my fears are:

• very drunk men
• being found when trying to hide

Well yeah...recently all the crew have been hanging out round Mon's. He's Jess K's new geezer, it's been pretty fun actually.

I've just discovered how much I hate having such a beautiful best friend. It's like, every single guy you like...wants her. And even if they do like you, you're like a second...um...choice? It really makes me upset, I know it's not her fault that Tab is the way she is, but damn...

Like yesterday...Mon and Da were talking about how fit everyone is..."Tab is beautiful, you're...pretty"

What am I talking about? Yeah my friend's prettier than me...but why be jealous? If a guy likes me for who I am...then good on him. If he judges by looks...I guess he'll only be getting the better deal...

God...

I'm the most selfish person in the world.

But the thing is, people treat Tab differently to me. Things like these:

• Me: "Mon, can I have a mars bar?" Mon: "No". Tab: "Can I have a mars bar?" Mon: "Yes".

It just feels like all the time, Tab is and always will be better than me. Take Len for instance, so many times I've tried to have his attention, Tabby wins everytime. And this Biggins guy...he says I'm scary. He doesn't even know me. People judge me as the funny/wierd person all the time, without even giving me a chance. Why the fuck not? I'm just as serious as anyone else. I have feelings, and people always forget that.

"Look! There's Jess, the one that can handle everything, laughs about everything, is happy all the time"

I'm not. At all. I need support at times guys. I'm going crazy...

And finally, Pete Cholwill; You don't need me to say what a great father you was, especially as all that you saw me as was your daughters friend, but you will be missed by many, and you'll stay in their hearts forever.

Rest in peace, My Favourite Taxi Driver x

We're half way there...WOAH living on a prayer!

Last night consisted of alot of alcohol, dancing, cheesey tunes and sick!

School was usual...quite festering and reminding me that I had lots of courswork to do...meh...

After school I went to Lettie's, got Alana a valentines present for her birthday...also I wrote on her birthday card envelope: If you read this you're gay. I fell to the floor in laughter when she read it out loud. Lettie's boyfriend was due to come round, so I applied lots of orange foundation to my face to scare him, I also wore her aunties suit which contained some ever so lovely shoulder pads.

We went to meet him and Tabby put on her "Natasha Gwyther" accent, it was rather amusing how she couldn't drop it after she had spoke in the same tone for the whole 10 mintues she was using it.

We went back and I removed the make up and got ready for Alana's 18th birthday. Alana let me wear her beautiful glittery top, I also wore a glittery skirt with knee highs.

We then went to Pig's after Lettie and I consumed a big bottle of WKD. We were greeted by a whole one can for me and Tab to share!

It soon turned 8 o'clock so we met Jess K outside and got the lift to the pub, I was yet again greeted with alcohol. The people started to arrive and we consumed many alcoholic substances.

I was dancing with Frankie, Nikita and Jess when suddenly Jess turned away, when she turned to face me again I saw a pile of liquid on the floor, she grabbed my arm and it was wet, she asked me to go to the toilet with her. As I can't handle sick, I left Frankie to sort her out. She was throwing up rice...it was rather revolting. She then was taken home by Lettie's sister Becky. Tabby was the next to throw up. By this time I was extremely drunk and was dancing to various songs such as: I would walk 500 miles, My Boy Lollipop, Living On A Prayer, Daydream Believer...

We soon had to go, which kinda annoyed me because I had just started to enjoy myself, it was fun seeing all of Lettie's exes as I grew close to all of them, so close I named Steve "my brother with an a" and I swapped clothes with Ocko.

I then went home and slept.

Babysitting tonight, hopefully we won't get locked 0ut again.

Toodlepip x

One is the lonliest number that you'll ever do...

I reached the grand age of 16 just fine...
The er...15 year old Jess didn't get a very good send off, but who cares? She's gone now...as is all her memories.

That's right. I'm anaemic, damn my spelling...I meant amnesia.

When I was like...13 or 14 I saw people say how much they loved celebrities. Apart from my 3 beauties (John Rzeznik, Chester Bennington and Justin Hawkins.) I thought they would be the only ones I cared about...

But I was wrong...

My 3 husbands have multiplied into 5 (Brandon Flowers and Brian Molko). I also like Kevin Spacey, the dude from Jet and Johnny Depp.

But it will never happen...and I've got to remember this.

I remember the phase of "Adam Garcia". Everywhere you turned you would hear about him, I never actually knew he was, until this weekend.

I was watching Coyote Ugly, and I had to keep my self from throwing punches at the tv screen because I fell in love with the character of Mr Donnell. There might be an "o" there somewhere...
Oh well...

Anyway...like all obsessed teenagers would do, I looked for his name in the credits. And there it was...

Adam Garcia.

I'm trying to give up on all these causes, but it's when you think up memories about them, you really want to make them real...and I did not just say that!

Well it's really early in the morning, 10:35 to be exact. I've got the dentist at 2:30, so I'm gonna "hit the shower" before then, then I'm gonna...see if I can go to Pigs, then I'll do my food coursework there.

Good planning Jess. See/speak to y'all soon
Toodlepipx

I've just realised what I'm facing.

Goodbye immaturity, hello puberty!

Will this be the last time I can call Toby a codfish whilst listening to the monster mash?

This will be the last time I post as a 15 year old!

Next time I will be legal to have sex and buy fags...

Damn I'm so cool...

So yeah; With less than 4 days away till I turn into a weirdo...I'm not at school due to coughing up blood and having severe pains in my lungs...

I'm just gonna make this quick, life is rather boring nowadays, no one meets up anymore and it's kinda like this:

Pig - Round Craig's...with Nips
Tab - Round Jimmy's...with Jess

And considering they're basically the only two I like to hang out with....it sucks! I was with Jess B last night though, that was pretty funny. I am hanging out with Corrine quite alot though, i just don't wanna be with her when she's texting people all the time, I know it sounds rude but I feel embarrassed for her.

Well I'll just write down what's been saved on my phone and then I'll be off.

This Way - Kanye West...A song I wanted to download, and did.

4:39:09...My counter on my phone, telling me how long I've spent ringing people...

number 15...A song on Corrine's cd, I didn't know what it was called though so I can't download it.

Mr king : There's classes still working, be quiet
Richard Shearing: Lets shout through the corridors!...I found this hilarious

Galvanize - The Chemical Brothers...A "top" tune that I had to download, and have done, and now listen to constantly...

one is the loneliest number that you'll ever do...the lyrics to a song on an advert. The song is called One by Harry Nilson. I downloaded that also :)

Well, I'll leave you with a nice song...

My Lullaby, hung out to dry
What's up with that?
It's over...
Where are you dad?
Mum's lookin' sad
What's up with that?
It's dark in here
Why, bleeding is breathing
You're hiding underneath the smoke in the room
Try, bleeding is believingI used to
My mouth is dry, forgot how to cry
What's up with that?
You're hurting me...
I'm running fast, can't hide the past
What's up with that?
You're pushing me...
Why, bleeding is breathing
You're hiding underneath the smoke in the room
Try, bleeding is believingI used toI used to
Why, bleeding is breathing
You're hiding underneath the smoke in the room
Try, bleeding is believing
I saw you crawling on the floor
Why, bleeding is believing
You're hiding underneath the smoke in the room
Try, bleeding is believing
I saw you crawling to the door
Why, bleeding is believing
You're hiding underneath the smoke in the room
Try, bleeding is believing
I saw you falling on the floor

I wonder what song that could possibly be? Take care folks, I'll talk to you when I'm legal x

Hello, Hello, Hello, Herlow!

Here we are now...entertain us!

Yeah anyway...

Life's kinda being sucky...loads of coursework and stuff...so little time. However, the amount of documetary's on the holocaust really has cheered me up.

6 days until I finally see Rob, woohoo! Well yeah... my arm is aching, and I don't know why. I have only two messages on my phone, I've had them since last year...let's get them on here...

The Lonliness of the Long Distance Runner...a film that I really liked, it was black and white.

Tom Courtney, Colin Smith...the lead person in the above film, his real name and character name.

Well, aren't I just a boring little poo? Yes...yes I am.

Air, if and when you read this, I miss you :

Take care folks, toodlepipx