Hey guys! I ain't written for a while, I'm apolagising to the guys that are going to make a film out of my life, I'll fill you in...
THURSDAY: Really bad day. Went to school. Saw Sammy on the crutches, quite amusing I must say! Nothing really happened within school which is worth writing about, I got in trouble in maths, so did Clur and Sammy. Me, Tabby, Clur and Sammy went off to Safeways for lunch like we do and I was completely ignored. Sammy would constantly talk to Claire and Tabby but when it came to me I felt like I shouldn't be there. I'm starting to feel like I need to find somewhere I belong. It's like the Linkin Park song. I need to find Somewhere I Belong. I just don't fit in anywhere and I really did think that this time I might of got it right. Obviously not. Went home and did nothing. Went over Letty's later and stayed over. We went to bed later then her family so we couldn't flush the toilet because it would wake them up. So Letty did a piss then we were drifting off to sleep when we heard something come up the stairs, I asked Letty what it was and she said that it was her dog, Gypsy. Then we just heard the toilet being drank from and we both just laughed so much! Yvonne (her mum) and Rod (the boyfriend) think that me and Letty are sleeping with eachpther! How rude is that??? Well yeah that was it for that day...
FRIDAY: Went to school. Sammy was there as soon as I arrived! It's such a good sight to wake up to! First lesson was p.e which was great because I had volleyball with Tabby and we were throwing it around everywhere. We're in the fat group you see, Clur used to be with us, but she's been promoted! BITCH! Second lesson was with the bitch, Miss Welham. Well she probably isn't a bitch, shes just like it to me. I then went into the canteen at lunch and "hung" with Sammy. Later on we saw Tabby and Claire and that was that... 3rd lesson was food. That was pretty cool. I'm making Lemon Curd on Thursday, remind me! 4th lesson was English. I hate him soo much! I wasn't made for top group. He makes me feel so small. He does my head in!
Then it was lunch. Our usual crew went up Safeways. I wasn't quite as ignored as yesterday. I'm so happy that Tabby's there to keep me to frip with my sanity (what i have left). Well on the way back it was hilariously funny. Sammy did MR-BUSASTOW/SIMON COWELL STYLIE with the trousers and it was hilarious! You had to of been there! Well last lesson was science with Sammy WOOHOO! I sat next to him at first but was moved by the furry nosed/eared man. I sat at thr front which led me having a conversation with Alex and Russell about Sammy. They said I shouldn't bother with him and all this crap. But the crap made sense! So I told him and he got pissed of with me (I think) so I told him to fuck himself. It made me feel real wierd! I was soo angry at him. Later on we made up though! After school I went to Lettys and we then went to the bowling alley. It was supposed to be with the Jax crew but Letty kinda made me play pool wiht her the whole time. Sammy seemed to like Letty. It does my head in. Why are all my mates so much better then me? He blaitently likes (as in fancy, I just don't want to admit to it) Clur, Tabby and Letty. Maybe Russ and Alex were right after all, I am just wasting my time. I'm fighting for something that will never happen. I need to get my head ou tof the clouds. My life's shit, It was made to go this way and it will continue to.
SATURDAY: Went to Plymouth, Letty got her tounge pierced. It looks great, just like everything else about her. She bought clothes. I was always left standing there looking like a complete moron like I usually do. Some things will never change. It's always been Letty over me and when I'm next to he I find it hard to breathe. She's choking the life out of me and i can't do anything to stop it. She's just made like that, she'll always be the pretty one who gets everyone while I'm the depressed freak in the corner who follows her around. I want my individual life and I just can't have it. Why is everyone against me? I was put on here for a reason, and I don't know why! Help me please, I can't handle it.
I KNOW THAT ONLY GOD CAN JUDGE ME
IT'S ME AGAINST THIS WORLD AND I DON'T CARE
Life moves on, but for me it won't, EVER
bye