Another dreamers just got broken

Another dream, just like you

I was going to use lyrics from the song I am listening to as the title, but I can't understand what the guy just said...

So. I would like to write about my life on here please, anyone care for a coffee? Elm tea? Yes. Elm tea please, it appears to be one of my favourites.

This morning, I woke up, checked the time on the phone (9) and realised I had just slept for 12 hours. I turned off the tv and dvd player, which had been on all night, then I said to myself: "I need a fucking fag" and I thought it sounded really sexy, so I went downstairs and consumed a vitamin c chewable tablet and a cod liver oil capsule whilst drinking a glass of tropical juice. My passion for this drink is still very much alive, it seems. Shit. That's why I came on the computer early, to send Janine a birthday text. We'll get back to my interesting morning in roughly 5 minutes...



Right, that is done. So...yes. After my drinks and pills I stepped outside with my mp3 player, a lighter and one of the lambert and butler cigarettes which James had given me. He's a very generous person, he should stop feeding me. I got to the windy alley at the side of my house, in a pair of shorts and a long sleeved top. I was wearing no bra and very thin panties; it was ever so chilly. So I turned on my mp3 player, which was convieniently playing "The Bucket" (it would make sense, I put it on repeat a couple of days ago) and then I sparked up. It was no longer chilly, but a great place to listen to such a great song.

This then leads me to my moment of insanity which I had experienced the previous night.
Location: Golf Course
Allabies: None, by myself
Cause: Music
Activity: Dancing and singing in the rain
Result: I planned my funeral

I must not ever show someone these plans, I shall leave them along with the gun that I take my life with.

Happy reading.

Oh yeah, my sister is getting me a Babyshambles cd for Christmas...ah bad!!! :D

Just a chance that we may find better days

The Goo Goo Dolls have a new song out! Could this just about be the greatest weekend in the world?!

I think not, last night wasn't the greatest, but I did (finally) watch Trainspotting, a spectacular film, and Saw. Saw was...has, was is saw backwards, well yeah...Saw wasn't how I had imagined...I was expecting more sawiness.

Still good films altogether, then we stayed up all night and then slept and sweated and then said a prayer for them.

Today, Jeremy has already texted me twice, but he hasn't replied now...he's invited me out. Should be a fun day then. There was no sarcasm included in that last sentence. And then tonight is the celebration of Loz's birthday...so I wonder if I'll be sober by the end of the night.

Take these words, and sing out loud, cuz everyone is forgetting how.

Those are nice lyrics. I love the Goos a lot.

Well I'm going to have a bath, shall catch up soon.

Oh...I've got loads of things to write from my phone, I'll have to do it another time...

Tatlepip xxx

All the world can pass me by

My first college party shall be occuring in approximately 4 hours. I don't know why I keep talking about it, it will probably be completely shit. I have been welcomed to Jamrock, how hardcore am I?

A lot, also, Damien Marley told me he loves me. Don't spread it though, I'm trying to find a way to get rid of him. He's damaging Mr Doherty and I's relationship. That really doesn't make much sense. But I shall have to deal with it as I don't know what else to write.

Let's put a picture or two on, my blog has been looking rather bland recently. Almost as bland as a carrot cake which is bland. Did you notice the wit there? I thought so...

So, I have been listening to the same three songs for a while now, I have deleted all my music off my computer. At least they're all kinda varied...

I guess things just turn out that way, yeah, I want you to love me, I want you to know I'm just like you. Just like you. A thousand words unspoken, another dream another day, yeah, just like you. Just like you. A thousand words just like you. I want you to love me, I want you to know I'm just like you. You. You. A thousand words just like you. A thousand words just like you. A thousand words just like you. A thousand words just like you.

You beat your head upon your wall. You disconnect yourself from it all, when you know that you're so beautiful, you're so untouchable. And I wanna get in so bad, and I don't know how. And I don't know how.

That's enough of that. Beautiful part of the song, that is.

Don't blink, you might miss...

Well, I have not smoked a cigarette for over 12 hours, I am rather hardcore. With a quiche, I might have added a couple of years ago.

I've changed my room around, and it's a complete mess. But I'm going through all my drawers of shit and I'm making it organised. I've come across so many things that I am so embarrassed about! What was I thinking? I must have thought I was well cool. Ooh! And I found the skateboard necklace I always used to wear because Craig was a skater.

The amount of books I have which are full with things like "I love Craig Skelly" is unbelievable. I have put all my notes, diaries and books that I write in my cupboard of Jessness. I really hope no one ever wants to have a sniff at what I have written.

I started getting emotional about it actually, I was reading my old diaries and it was like...woah! I totally remember that, then I wrote in my new one and it's like...what the fuck? These people seem like strangers to me.

I really miss Lettie! Aw...

When there's nowhere else to run, is there room for one more sun?

One more sun...

If you can hold on, if you can hold on.

Hold on.

I love this song, I bet y'all can guess what it is. Ah, here comes that great guitar bit. And now the drums. I might just have to stand up and let go...

I wanna stand up, I wanna let go. You know, you know...

I wanna shine on in the hearts of men. Yes, all the lyrics are great, I shall probably listen to this song about 41 times. I'm having a bad day, everything seems shit. I spoke to Jem earlier, I think him and Nicky are going to get it on. I swear if they do I shall actually cry. I don't have a clue what I'd do, but it definately looks as if it is going that way. She's with Moley for fat snakes, and she clearly knows I adore Jem, so why is she doing this?

I've got soul but I'm not a soldier.

So, last night. I did have insomnia. I tidied my room, stuck things back on the wall, and wrote more lyrics on the wall. I then decided to go through my 3 mp3 cds and write what made me download each song.

Here are the results:

Overall, my family influenced me to download 25 songs.
My friends influenced me to download 58 songs.
My internet friends influenced me to download 40 songs.
The people who I fancy influenced me to download 41 songs. (Mr Brightside has just came on, how great)
Random people (ones that I don't associate with) influenced me to download 9 songs.
Films/Television and Radio influenced me to download 47 songs.
My best friends influenced me to download 50 songs.
And the guys from the internet that I am attracted to influenced me to download 32 songs.

That's quite interesting isn't it? No...no it isn't.
And I have just made another mp3 cd, so I shall more than likely be doing the statistics on that as I will do anything to avoid doing my law, philosophy or graphic design coursework.

I'm a rebel like that

I believe it's my God given right, to detroy everything in my sight

Because it never gets dull, it never gets old.

That is right. Well not really, but the lyrics to this song are pretty cool apart from the constant relation to "Tall Boy".

Ah, it's playing on the song. I love listening to this whilst thinking of a certain person. I do that with a lot of songs, I relate it to a person. Then I...yeah that's enough. Little Miss Jessy thinks far too much.

As I was walking home I wondered what I would do if I couldn't sleep. Wait a second, Smashing Pumpkins - Tonight, Tonight is playing now. This song is great; Dave I miss you so much! (Again). I really do miss him. Jackson has just signed in. I wish I could get plastic surgery to look like Michael Jackson, actually imagine two Michael Jackson's. That would be crazy, anyway...back to the theory of preventing insomnia...

If I couldn't sleep I was considering changing my room around, then I remembered the time when I tried to do it by myself, as I get so stressed when it does happen that nobody wants to see me for about a week. So I struggled to push a part of the 3-piece wardrobe along the landing, then it came to the 2 or 3 steps just outside the bathroom, so I tried to do it by myself and it fell on top of me. I just felt like screaming for help, but it didn't work. I just couldn't do it. So I managed to lift it by myself, and it damaged some of the landing paint work, but I have kept it to myself.

So yeah, I might not do that, I might just clean my room or do some graphics.

Today was great, me and Tab watched 3 films in a row. The Virgin Suicides (still can't get enough of it, gotta listen to Air - Playground Love some time soon), Fern Gully (Everyone loves the bit where they walk through the puddles and they light up) and then finally half of the Secret Garden, Tab and I just wanted to watch the bit where she found the boy crying.

Ace in the face.

Then we went to Will's, I was hugging Lilley the majority of the time. I need a boyfriend, and no I am not attracted to him at all. I just like hugging, when under the influence.

Cheers mates. All my mates. Calling around the world. This song is still playing, I think it may be on repeat. I really need to listen to U2. Might just do that when I go to bed.

Sleeping in, sleeping in. No matter what the time is

People say that you die, faster then without water. Though we know it's just a lie. Scary son scary daughter.

This song is amazing. I miss my internet buddy, Dave, a lot. He was great to talk to.

So yeah, I wanted to write this post a couple of days ago, when I was full on enthusiasm. But I have no clue what to write now. I'm just recovering on all the sleep and things.

How fun for you to read. I'll write another time.

I will try to fix you

This weekend has actually been amazing. I was so wrecked, I attempted to do my philosophy essay. It took roughly 5 hours to write. At the end of it all, it was incompleted and made absolutely no sense whatsoever.

So.

That is I.

Nothing like the taste of sweet decline

So, I have finally arrived home, after weekends full on food, dancing, babysitting and nudity. Ok, the last two have nothing to do with each other; je suis not a paedophile.

It feels good never coming home. However, I miss my keyboard. We've spent so much together; science projects frim Year 7 up to rapidly downloading a song just to be able to dance to it later that night.

I must give up stripping down to my bra and a top which I decided should be worn as a skirt. Why do people have camera phones? Just so that they can record my semi-permanent insanity which lasts roughly 1 minute? I hate the way they decide to show everyone at college the next day.

Yes yes, that's right. I'm at college now. It's gone so fast, I can't wait for all the rewarding grades at the end of it all. That was sarcasm. My photography tutor recognises my sarcasm, and because of this tries not to start a conversation with me.

Je suis in love with him. Why do I start things off French then just lead it to nothing? It is because he suis an idiot. I miss my sister Lisa.

You can see she's a beautiful girl, she's a beautiful girl

I feel so much like a college girl! Or should I say...chick.

At the weekend I was doing Tequila Slams. It was so fun, and mature. Talking of mature...how do you spell immature?

P-O-O

Well done Jess. That's a hilarious joke. Almost as good as this...(hand gestures are kinda needed...)

God's sitting here Jesus is sitting here, doing this:

*Imitate Jesus biting palms of hands*

God: Jesus, stop biting your nails

Good old Janine there. Ooh, another bit or mature fun. The film Along Came Polly is actually awesome. Ben Stiller and Jennifer Aniston are in it. Imagine the comedy! Well yeah, he goes to this party and this happens.

Ben's Mate: Hey man, we gotta leave the party, right now, a situation has arose.
Ben: What's that?
Ben's Mate: I just sharted
Ben: I don't know what that means...
Ben's Mate: I farted...and a little bit of shit came out

It is a classic example of how...you know...

Wonderboy. What is the secret of your power? WONDERBOY, WON

Gah, mum just interrupted me with a rather refreshing glass of Tropical Juice. I've been told by many that it is not healthy for me to drink so much Tropical Juice. But what would they know?

Lots and lots, as I have no idea what is good for me. Hense why I'm still drinking the Tropical Juice.

It's been so long now, you've forgotten how to smile

Well today's been pretty good actually. Wow, Lee and I have been getting on really well. I actually want him. The bad point of my day is that Conrad wasn't there in Law to stare at, and Ben has done something to his hair so he doesn't look as attractive.

This is what has been running through my mind the last 5 years.

Craig Skelly
Ever since that visit day in year 6, I knew there was something special about you. My best friend at the time, Merren Skinner, had told me not to worry about the lack of great guys going round, and I would find a perfect person at Budehaven. Craig was the only one that stuck out from all the rest. I remember us sat in a pentagon-ish shape. Russ, Alex, Craig, Me and Lettie. Those were good times.

Throughout the whole time at school, I claimed that I loved you. In year 9 I remember you saying: "Why are you so nice Jess?" after I gave you a £1 for a Pot Noodle, and I was just like...:"I'm Jess".

The next day you were with Gina, it really upset me actually. I actually thought you liked me that day.

Years went by when I was in denial about "loving" you. It was one drunken night that I realised that I did still have feelings for you. I was shouting it at Jess Bate as we walked home. And then, about 11, I rang up, so terrified about what you might say. I suppose it was because I was drunk that I felt like I had to tell you. You just said you were tired, and that was the end of that phonecall.

Then year 10 and 11 came. I had witnessed you go downhill since the age of 11. I watched you go from drug to drug and it really broke my heart to see you in that way. I just wanted to take you out of it all, no one believed that you would ever be able to give up, and I'm sorry to say that I was one of them.

The anxiety attacks. You don't know how concerned I would be. When I saw that you had been punching walls and stuff. I didn't like the way you seemed to portray yourself. And it broke my heart, to think, every time I saw you at school, it would be such a big deal for me. And for you not to realise how great you were in my life, it just...you know. I just wanted to hug you and say, Look Craig, you are so much better than you think. You don't know how much I actually love the fact that you exist. And to see you hate yourself, made me hate myself. I was in love with someone who hated themselves.

I just wanted to be the one to talk to you, and make you come round. But I never got the chance because you never let me. You never give me chances Craig. All I wanted was a chance.

And now, you've given up drugs, even fags. You don't know how proud I am of you. No one believed in you, so you made it on your own. And you have my entire respect for you. I actually can't believe how highly I think of you. It makes me think that I do actually love you.

I used to actually imagine myself telling you this, and it would make me cry. Seriously, every encounter I had with you made me so happy. I would love it when we would just have a great conversation, and I would think to myself as I walked home: "Me and Craig got on really well today"

And the next day it seemed as though it had meant nothing to you. But I just couldn't stop thinking it all the time.

And now, Craig. 5 years and we're now going to college together, still talking and I'm so amazed.

I love you


http://scoreboards.hotornot.com/jessordave

Well if you wanted honesty that's all you had to say

I'm Not Okay - My Chemical Romance.

Quite a hard song to hate I guess, the intro is just so...good you feel like you have to bop about and cut yourself.

Nah, I'm only joking. Well, I might not be but I can't be bothered to go down that route///This weekend was ace, I must show you the messages that I sent people, these are 5 from Friday night.

To Tabby:
I just pulled this girl! she said it was for a competition or something. then she asked for my number! fucking crazy x

To Mommi:
Heyup duck. just to say im staying over corrins tonight. i shall see you tomorrow. love you x

To James:
Hey james. how are you? im over a mates. getting high tonight, should be fun. you working tonight? hope you're dancing on the ceiling x x x

To Craig:
Hey craig. just to say ive just been thinking about your anxiety attacks and how proud i am of you. hope youre well, love you x x x

To Jeremy:
It was great. im well stoned. me and corrin are going to do it again tonight. what are you up to? x

Oop. Just got a message from Jeremy. I think he's inviting me for dinner :|

I'll reply and see what he says. Another thing that annoys me about Jeremy is that if we arrange to meet or whatever, he'll never text back to confirm it, or he just won't tell me he's not coming until it's too late.

My hair is all short, well, I reckon so. Should be getting it dyed a dark colour soon, then get the highlights in sometime around Christmas. I bet you all love reading about how my hair is going to be dyed. How boring I must be.

The weekend was amazingly great. Friday I was off my rocker, I wish I could upload pictures from my phone onto here because then you could see how ACTUALLY red my eyes were. Corrin's cat thought it would be funny to spin us all out by bringing in a live mouse, we all screamed and locked ourselves in the kitchen frantically ringing everyone we knew so that they could dispose of it.

Wom was the only one available. So he got Norris in the end. Norris was still alive, and we took pictures of him because he was cute.

Yesterday we went into Bude, met up with Luc and I bought some special conditioner for my hair.

Jeremy has replied...
I don't have a clue whether I'm being invited out or not! I replied saying: "So who you going with? Will and Jasmin?"

And he said: "Yes i would imagine so jayson and nik aswel probably, has that put u off?"

Fuck it, I'll jsut reply him blatently asking him whether he's inviting me. If not, it's only Jeremy so it's not that embarassing. Ah bad, could be a pretty fun day for me.

Wait! I have short hair and I look nasty! What ever shall I do? I shall do my thing, make my body sing...

Yes, good plan.

Kthxbye

Trying to get by...

Today has been great. It feels good for things to go so well. I think that random release on Friday did me good. And the Friday night really got me worked up for this week.

I feel like I can handle the world, it's great. I've also got loads of money. Well not loads, well, £50, for me is good. Gotta save it though, gotta cut down on all the shit.

Some sort of incubating period

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

What a way to go, but have no fear

Well, this is just a post to contain all my annoying...things that are annoying me at this moment in time.

1. My lack of lighters. My shit lighter broke today. I'm also left with a white cricket which has no gas, and a green disposable which has no flint. I have tried to overcome my problem by releasing the gas on the disposable and sparking up the cricket, I have managed to get a flame. I also have a green clipper that I've had for about 8 months which I stole from Pig. When it works, it's good. When it doesn't, it isn't. However, it is best of the 3, and...it is lost. I could overcome this problem by purchasing another lighter.
2. Keys. My bag is full of college stuff, so it is hard for me to find my keys when I get home. I have to take the books and paper out of my bag, whilst struggling to continue holding my bag, mp3 player and phone. When I finally manage to grab them, I realise that the door is already open. I could overcome this problem by either purchasing another bag, then putting my keys in a different pocket to all the rest of the shit, or I could just see if the door is open before I go through all the hassle.
3. Crisps. I come home, I'm hungry and I notice there are crisps. McCoys infact. I love McCoys. I then discover that they are the spicey ones, so I think...hmmm...I'm just gonna have to eat them, I'm that hungry. THEN I discover that there is only one packet left, and it is the most revolting flavours, so I slip my hand further back, and I have to eat a festering packet of Salt of Vinegar crisps that have probably been there for 9 years. I could overcome this by stealing the good crisps as soon as mum buys them, and hide them in my room. Or, I could learn to love new flavours...
4. Lack of clothes. School was so much easier, all you had to do was wear the same clothes each day. I only have about 3 pairs of trousers that actually fit me, without having to wear specific shoes. And as the weather has been shit, I have soaked all of them. So I am now left with no other choice but to either wear a skirt or my really long trousers tomorrow. Yey. I could overcome this by buying more trousers that fit me. Stop buying long ones you turd.
5. Lack of money. I don't get EMA due to my dad having a well paid job, but I don't want to get a job just yet as I want to get used to college. But, with college I need to purchase so many things! Such as folders, and more folders, and big books and stuff. And also trips to London and Birmingham and stuff. I believe I am screwed. I shall HAVE to overcome this one by getting a job, I shall have to get it later, when I have got used to the idea of "deadlines"
6. Lack of social life at college. I'm always following Tab around, and I don't want to do that because it is boring. I need to make new friends, I just can't seem to find myself doing it! Today has been alright actually, I've socialised more. It just seems as though everyone was made to be on my course so I would be ignored. And I have to sit next to Chris in philosophy; it sucks! I shall overcome this by talking more, and being myself. But not too much...the heroin jokes don't seem to be going down well.
7. Lack of boyfriend. 16 and single. Haven't had a proper relationship since February. This bothers me as when I always say: "oh look, there's my boyfriend" or "I'm just going to my boyfriend's house" I want it to be me telling the truth for once. I want either Ben, Conrad, Jeremy or Mon, I'm not too fussed. I could overcome this by getting a nice face, and a breasts and personality transplant.
8. Msn. I just want to "socialise" with all my online friends, and it refuses to sign in. Cunt. I could overcome this problem by bribing my computer with peperami's. However, I have appeared to have eaten them all.
9. Hair. It is dead, unstyled and just generally minging. I look like a rock man; this is not the look I am going for! Due to my lack of breasts (they're not that annoying actually) I need to make myself look as feminine as I possibly can. My hair does not help me. I could overcome this by getting it cut, styled and dyed, and hopefully that will be happening this weekend.
10. I have just drawn on my trousers. I now can't wear these tomorrow, as I thought it would be cool to get a red pen and draw on my trousers. I could overcome this by not ever using a red pen again, or I could just not breathe again.
11. Jeremy. He only rings me when he's no longer with Amy. I do not like the way that he always does this. I feel like a used quiche, however, he is adorable and I like him a lot, so I'll have to get over it. I could overcome this by barring his number, but I would never do that.

So, I'll post some time next week, see if any of these are still a problem

Oh yeah, and this:

Little Miss Doherty - Wherever there is cheese there are...twats says:
hey?

Woooord says:
hey jess

Woooord says:
i am off to work really soon

Woooord says:
i am sorry about this

Woooord says:
it is not ideal, but i will not be this unavailable forever

Woooord says:
i'm going to try and find a more suitable job

Little Miss Doherty - Wherever there is cheese there are...twats says:
toodlepip

Little Miss Doherty - Wherever there is cheese there are...twats says:
xxx

Woooord says:
xxx

Little Miss Doherty - Wherever there is cheese there are...twats says:
oh right! you mean you're leaving right now?

Little Miss Doherty - Wherever there is cheese there are...twats says:
you're quite bad james

Karma police, I've given all I can; it's not enough

You know, I just wrote a post. But I have now deleted it. I hate reading blogs that are about who people met, what they said. Well you know what I mean. Well, maybe you don't. But I just want to write. So yes. I shall show you the picture that I drew on my friends hand. It is for the chorus to "The Bucket" as we all know that song is ultimate. And my favourite.

Currently listening to "The Bucket" how great is this tune? Very great, that's what. If I could marry any song, this would be it. Fun, laughter and with a fucked up meaning.
So yes, I shall continue to stare at Mr Followill's ever so sexy face. You may hate that Japanese scream, but I love the way you look at me.

There is a terrorist holding 20 people hostage. You stumble upon him, he tells you that if you kill one of the hostages, he will free the others. What do you do?

I must choose one of the two options; I cannot cheat through choosing an alternative e.g I cannot say I would kill myself, or shoot the terrorist.

So, the first option:

Allow the terrorist to kill all 20

You could just walk away from it all. You can't take one person's life. It would be unfair, and you probably wouldn't be able to handle killing someone, besides, how can you be certain that he will actually kill them if you don't do it?

Kill the 1, let 19 survive

If you do this, you will save 19 lives. You'll only lose 1 person. Yes, you may experience guilt, but surely you would experience more if you allowed the terrorist to kill all 20? Besides, no matter which option you choose, someone is going to die. You should make it less than more. Perhaps you could tell the hostages the plan, and they could decide who would be most suitable to sacfrifice themselves e.g an elderly person, a chronically ill person.

I don't have a clue what I would do.

They call me Trim when I'm 'ere

Well, today I experienced my first proper day at college. I got there, went to tutorial and I thought: "Hey, I'll make some friends" so I just chatted to a few of them about stuff.

After though, I had no clue what to do as my best friend from last time was kissing the new girls ass, so I just went to see Corrin and Tab. Tab was in a lesson or whatever so I stayed with Poo and got all the gossip.

Which was hardly anything, then Tab came, I met her new best buddy. She was almost as great as mine...really talkative. So yeah, after that I met up with Tom, Janine and Becky and we went into Barnstaple. We went to McDonalds and I saaw Danielle. She looked rather gorgeous.

So then I went back, hung with Tab for a while, then found Janine and Becky. But then I thought...perhaps I should spend some time with real friends...this is where Bo, Jim, Ferg and Crazy Man come into the equation. They started playing "Top Trumps" but I soon dragged Crazy Man to accompany me to my next lesson. Which was photography.

Photography was not how I had thought, it started off well, as I was not shy and I had thought I had made friends. Evidentally not. We have to stay in the seats for the whole year and no one is sat either side of me. Cunts. We had to go in partners and I was put with the festering tutor. Then we had to "crop" the picture, but that took all of the hour, thank God. I hated it, so I thought I would hate law.

So I turned up for law, the girl in front of me had gone into there, they had turned her back so I asked her what she was looking for "Sociology" Ah Bad, I had gotten the correct location. So yeah, I walked in and the geezer said: "Law or sociology?" I was like..."Law?" and he was like, "Take a seat, what's your name"

It was then that I had realised that everyone else there looked so much older than me, I think I am the youngest. There is this fitty there called Conrad. Actually stunning. And the class was so great too! The tutor was well funny, I think I am going to enjoy that class.

Good job, got a double dosage tomorrow. I can guarantee that tomorrow I will have a shit day, just because I'm looking forward to it.

Well yeah, I'm gonna go talk to people on msn, because I'm good like that

What's the point in trying to dream anymore?

Well yesterday was nice. Tab rang up about babysitting, so I was destined there last night. I went to Mon's before, and it was fun. Watching the British Army fight and stuff.

Went babysitting. It was just so funny at first, because I knocked on the door and Joseph came up, but it was locked, so Gina told him to unlock it, and he couldn't.

So we just talked through the post box for ages, it was great.

I really love that kid, he's so great to talk to. He totally runs along the same wavelength as me. And he's 4 years old. But he's a very smart one.

Ask Tab.

Well yeah, then I walked home, I love walking home. I just sit down on the golfcourse and sing for a while because I know that no one else would have wanted to walk across the golf course when it's dark.

I love being by myself. College tomorrow. I'm just fixing my nails, making them pink. My fingers look so horrible and masculine now that I've bit my nails off.

I've got my Alanis Morissette album playing, Jagged Little Pill. "You Learn" is playing right now, what a great tune.

I will try to fix you

Wow guys, listening to Coldplay - Fix You. It's at that orgasmic guitar bit. This song is actually so beautiful, I could break down into tears any minute now...

So yes, Toby's birthday. It was great. We went to The Carriers. Pig, Nips and Tab were there at first, then Da, Pat and Jess K arrived. Then Tab, Jess K and Pat left, later Nips...

But yeah, confusey woosey. Here is a picture the guys and a random guy that put classic tunes on the jukebox.

So yeah, left to right Craig, Pig, Nips and Adam.

That guy was nice. As he was browsing through the songs I pointed to Embrace - Gravity, and this is the conversation that followed:
Adam: Gravity?
Me: Yeah
Me: It reminds me of my Grandad
Adam: Is that why you like it?
Me: Yeah

I know that may not seem like such a great conversation, but it felt good to me. We also talked about the lack of the Kings of Leon on the jukebox, it was then that he told me that one of his friends was with Caleb. I was so pakster. He said he didn't really think that he was hot due to the hairiness. I tried to explain about the stunningness of Caleb in "The Bucket" video, but it failed to come out of my mouth with ease...

So yeah. That was heartbreaking...so, I ended up staring at a couple of the guys in front of us, who were dancing to reggae like there was no tomorrow. It was rather hilarious. So hilarious in fact, Nips went up to them and asked them to take a picture. Check out the Motley Crew

And...finally. I have a picture of a very happy/drunk Toby. I hope it was how you had wanted it, darl.

love you always x

P.S If you look hard enough, you can see the two reggae men in the back ground